


Silhouette

by hellokafkiana



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: F/M, Post Season 3, Post canon, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Spoilers, Sylvie is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 42,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7055410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellokafkiana/pseuds/hellokafkiana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>POST S3</p><p>Milady is forced to face someone from her past, again </p><p>“I wasn’t flirting. I was working”<br/>“Working?”<br/>“I work for the Queen now”<br/>“Since when? How did I not know about it?”<br/>“I’ve been working for the Queen for 3 years”<br/>“Since…”<br/>“Yeah”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It can't be happening again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not possible   
> It can’t be happening again  
> … and yet it is

Everything so far on that mission had gone perfectly, the stolen letters had been retrieved and the Spanish spy had been arrested by the proper authority. The only thing that Anne wanted right now was to go home and have a bath but first she had to meet with an informer.  
She entered the tavern but the first thing, maybe the only thing, she noticed was a silhouette she once knew very well. 

It’s not possible  
It can’t be happening again  
… but it is

3 years. 3 passed since she started working for the Queen, 3 years since her former husband rejected her once again and left for good with his mistress.  
He left with Sylvie and she was sure she wouldn’t have seen him again and yet, there he was.  
Her first impulse was to go away but she did not actually had the time to decide what to do because in that moment he turned and saw her.

“Anne”  
she just stood there, frozen  
“Anne”  
and that name sounded to her like a course and a blessing at the same time  
“Anne”

He stood there too, drunk and confused.  
He stood there just staring at her, speechless. Looking at his wife as if she was a ghost, a reminder of his past and his demons. She was the only one that really knew him, the only one that could truly understand him. She was the darkness to his light, the hatred to his love. He never pretended with her, never lied, never hidden parts of himself. 

Being with her was natural at first. She has been the first person he has ever been comfortable with and he loved her, truly, deeply, she was the great love of his life and he knew that, even when he though she was dead, or when he found out she was a killer and a spy, because that kind of love could never die. Surely, it had been complicated.  
He never stopped loving her or hating her and he had never understood which of these two prevailed.

Then Anne did something unexpected, she just ignored him. She passed over him and started looking around for someone.  
“Not now, Athos” she whispered 

Athos was surprised but decided to let her make her move, he just stood there admiring his wife.

She was beautiful, fearless and resolute and in that moment he understood he had not appreciate those qualities enough in the past. She was talking with a young guy, younger than him and more attractive surely and she was smiling and laughing all the time.  
Something hit him then, a rage, because he could have been the one talking to her. He could have been the one being with her, he could have been the one over there, flirting with her. But he decided not to be, he sentenced her to death and then he rejected her. He felt a strange feeling in that moment, he felt guilty, because he never stand by her side, he never believed her or in her. 

Then she passed by and he couldn’t prevent it, those words just got out of his mouth “Are you done flirting then?”  
She stopped, furious and bitterly said “What? Are you jealous now? As if you had any right to be so”  
He grubbed her arm then said “Yeah, I’m sorry Anne, I…just stay, stay please”

Stay

How much she had hoped to hear those words from him and now he had and it was too late

“Stay Anne, let’s talk. I’ve missed you”  
“You know that’s not fair. Do you?” she turned and looked him in the eyes, half pissed and half emotional.

“I mean it. I’m sorry Anne, I am. I know I should have told you a long time ago but I’m truly sorry.”  
“For what exactly?” She was not angry or emotional at that moment, she was just in shock  
“For everything. For destroying your life, for hurting you time and again”  
He felt incredibly lucid in that moment “For not believing you before and then… For never giving you a real chance, for saying that your redemption wasn't possible, for being the total jerk I was”

Anne did not know how she felt. Happy, angry, sad, shocked, devastated and then she talked without thinking 

“I wasn’t flirting. I was working”  
“Working?”  
“I work for the Queen now”  
“Since when? How did I not know about it?”  
“I’ve been working for the Queen for 3 years”  
“Since…”  
“Yeah”

Pain was in both their eyes, but she was in trance, she wanted to go, but she needed answers. She was feeling too much

“Where is Sylvie? Your baby?”  
“They are dead”  
“I’m sorry to hear that” and she was. Knowing that Athos had abandoned her and left with his pregnant mistress was a closure to her. That part of her life was over, for good. But now she wasn’t so sure about this anymore.

“I’m too. She was kind and gentle and easy. It was easy being with her, that’s why I left”  
“I really don’t want to hear about this”  
“But you must. I never loved her but I though being with her would have made me happy. I was wrong and I was a coward and I’m sorry.”

“…Oliver”


	2. Raoul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It must be strange to you, to sleep unter the same roof with you wife again, as it should be” Anne said, with a mockery tone obviously but with sad eyes at the same time.  
> “I’m not using your bed, if that’s what bothers you” he said confused  
> “What? Do you fear for your virtue?” Anne said almost laughing this time  
> “No, it’s just that this is your home. I would never”  
> But she stopped him before he could continue “So this is about your precious honor as always” Anne said angrily.   
> After a moment she continued, still with a huge sadness in her eyes “Whatever. Honestly it’s been a long day, I really need to sleep. Good night, mon amour

Athos hadn’t seen his wife for a week now, since that disastrous meeting at the tavern. 

Seeing Anne again had been a huge mixture of emotions, love, hate, sadness, regret, happiness, guilt, comfort… but what surprised him most was that all he could think about now was seeing her again, talking to her again. The truth was that no matter how painful it was, he couldn’t stop thinking about her, he didn’t want to. 

He had accepted that he, too, was guilty for the end of their relationship but he had also understood what he wanted, and what he wanted was her.   
He was willing to do anything possible to earn her forgiveness, he would have waited, as long as it would have been necessary and he would have done anything to make amends to her. He wanted to make this work, he wanted to be brave this time, he wanted to face his feelings without fear, he wanted her to know that he was willing to fight for her this time, not for France, not for his precious honor but for her.

So he questioned everyone in Paris to find out where Anne lived, he needed to tell all of this to her, she needed to know, he needed her to know, he wanted her to feel loved and appreciated and now he was sober and he would have been capable of managing the whole situation better. Theoretically at least.

When he arrived near her supposed home he noticed something really strange.  
He saw his wife playing hide and seek with a child.

She seemed so happy, careless and free. In that moment, maybe for the first time in years, he saw Anne as he remembered her, happy, as she once was with him, when the used to run together in the fields, the same fields where he caught her, kissed her, loved her. 

All those memories were painful considering what happened next but his attention was now all for the child, the little boy. He found him familiar in a way he could not describe. The boy had his hairs but Anne’s eyes. 

This boy could have been the child he and his wife wanted so badly not long before Thomas’s death. This boy could have been the coronation of their love story. He had imagined this boy time and again but this boy was just a dream…except he wasn’t. He was there and he was real, he was laughing and Athos could not believe what he was seeing. Then abruptly Anne saw him and she froze. They both looked each other for what it seemed an eternity and then Anne spoke to the boy “Go inside Raoul, I needs to talk with that man now, but I’ll come in very soon” the boy nodded and disappeared into the house.

 

She came closer to her husband “What are you doing here?” she said angrily  
“I…needed to see you, to talk to you, but…You have a son? You.. how old is he? Is… the child mine?”  
“…I…” she couldn’t answer, she had thought about this conversation several times in her life but now she couldn’t find the words.   
“Anne???”  
“It doesn’t matter, Athos” she answered resolute .  
“But it does” he cried  
“Why?” she said almost crying  
“So… I actually am the father” he acknowledged   
“No, he has no father. He has me and I’m both mother and father, he does not need a father, he does no need you. We don’t need you” she said bitterly  
Those words hurt him more than he showed and still in shock he said “But how? I mean…It happened just once”  
“Once is enough” was her tough answer

He couldn’t breath, she couldn’t breath. Too much emotions for both of them and a common memory, regarding what had happened almost 9 years before.

At that time Anne and Athos were working together in order to take down Rochefort and the situation had become incredibly risky, their lives were both in danger and then suddenly and unexpectedly both of them were forced to face their complicated past and eventually the had shared a passionate kiss, while hiding from Rochefort in the cardinal’s cabinet. But then they had to run from the palace and did not really had time to discuss what happened, well not immediately at least. Athos needed to reach the others musketeers at the covent but unfortunately he could not travel at night, it was too dangerous and at the same time he could not return to the Garrison, because that would have been the first place Rochefort and his guards would have looked for. Then, unexpectedly, Anne proposed to go to her place and what surprised Athos was that he could not find a better solution.

“It must be strange to you, to sleep unter the same roof with you wife again, as it should be” Anne said, with a mockery tone obviously but with sad eyes at the same time.  
“I’m not using your bed, if that’s what bothers you” he said confused  
“What? Do you fear for your virtue?” Anne said almost laughing this time  
“No, it’s just that this is your home. I would never”  
But she stopped him before he could continue “So this is about your precious honor as always” Anne said angrily.   
After a moment she continued, still with a huge sadness in her eyes “Whatever. Honestly it’s been a long day, I really need to sleep. Good night, mon amour” She fall immediately asleep, she did not even hear his response.

Then she dreamed, a dream she hadn’t had in years. She dreamed about her imprisonment and execution.

She heard Catherine’s voice again, that voice full of disrespect “Be quiet! We're sick of your lies”   
and then her beloved husband, the man she wanted to spend all her life with, the first person she had ever truly loved, and that loved her back, doubting about their whole relationship “Did you ever love me?” and her shocked answer “You know I did, I love you!” 

How could he think that she lied for all that time? She just couldn’t pretend all those feelings they shared, she though he knew that and yet he did not and then his sentence “Make your peace with God, Anne, for you must die” He, the Comte, her husband, had just sentenced her to die. To die. The same man that two days before was professing his undying love to her, now had sentenced her to die. She did not even want to escape then, she was still too shocked. Their story was real, how could he doubt her? Doubt her feelings? Did he not see how she smiled at him? How she kissed him? How happy she was with him? She did not even care that much about his money, she cared about him, she wanted him now and forever and he was not even willing of giving her a second chance. Yes she had lied to him and yes she shouldn’t have but yet at the same time she wanted him, so she decided to lie, to keep him, to keep his love.

Then the priest, her final unsaid words, the rope, the impossibility to breath, the token of his love she still carried. Then she heard Catherine’s voice again “… a murdering whore” and this time she could not escape her destiny. The rope was before her and she could not run away. This time she had no choice, this time she was about to die for real, and in that moment the panic took over her. 

She woke up screaming desperate “I never wanted any of this, I’m so sorry. I became what you believed me to be” and she was fully awake and started sobbing and she hated that, she loved being strong and fearless and yet she was there, without control, just crying in front of her husband. 

Only in that moment she remembered that Athos was there, in front of her, looking straight at her and what he saw was pure panic. He saw his terrified wife and for a moment it was like he had sentenced her to die again. She tried to calm her down but he couldn’t. He looked at her worried and then got up and without giving her time to react, unexpectedly, hugged her. 

She was shaking and looked incredibly scared but he could really not understand what was going on and then said worried “Anne? Anne! It’s ok, I’m here. What happened? What’s wrong?”   
She didn’t calm at all, even if she tried so hard “I…it’s over, forget about it.”   
“Tell me.” and he wanted to know because against his better judgement he still cared for her.  
She was still shaking “Catherine wanted to kill me, like you wanted to. I had no way to escape that. I was really about to die this time and…I felt like I never really lived. I just…survived and life…life should be about more than just surviving. I had once happy moment in my life and that is…gone a long time ago.”  
He tried to calm her “Anne, stop it! Stop it! You are here. You are alive, you are well. You can still change your life if you want to.”  
“Do you actually believe that?”  
“I…” he could not answer that, but her scared eyes made her look so young, so naive, so defenseless. In that moment he really saw his wife in the eyes of Milady de Winter.  
“I…”

and there she kissed him, fiercely, deeply. When they were in the cardinal’s cabinet, hiding from Rochefort, she had been the one who had stopped their kiss. Now she was finishing what they started. Surprisingly he wasn’t complaining at all, on the contrary he responded to that kiss.   
It felt so strange, so familiar and yet at the same time so foreign.

Anne had missed that, him, Anne had missed him, her husband. She had missed who she was with him, how happy she was with him, how much joy she felt those days. She knew it in that moment, while her husband was over her, kissing her breast, she just knew. She wanted this, forever, she wanted this again and again and she decided in that moment that she wanted to give her marriage a second chance.

He felt strange too, but he liked that, he liked her, he had missed her. What was strange was that he did not feel guilty in that moment, he felt happy. Catherine was right after all, he was still in love with her, he hated her too, but in that moment, when he was biting her ears like the young Oliver de la Fere used to, he could only see his beloved Anne. The hunger between them was still consuming, as their love was. 

They kissed and touched each other in a very familiar way, like they had never stopped.  
They had each other and for a perfect moment that was enough. Anne smiled at him and incredibly he smiled back and then she hugged him and kissed his shoulder saying “I must admit I had forgotten how entertaining you are in bed, I really needed this refreshment” and in that moment Athos laughed for the first time in years “I did not forget a single thing about you. I couldn’t”

The morning after she woke up and he was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between 2x09 and 2x10 something happened between Athos and Milady, that's always been my head-canon! LOL


	3. As much as I wanted you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Could you just leave now, please?”  
> “…As you wish”  
> he closed his eyes and then continued “…But can I come tomorrow?”

They both returned to the present.

“You should have told me” Athos said in a sad tone.  
In that moment Anne answered more angrily than she expected to “When exactly? When I thought you had abandoned me at the crossroad? When you chocked me almost 4 years later? Oh, and what about when you left with your pregnant mistress?”

He felt guilty and ashamed in that moment. He saw her point but still could not fully understand her “When did you find out?”  
She hesitated “I… two months after I left for England”  
“and…why didn’t you write me about it? I could have…” said Athos anxiously  
“You could have what, Athos? You could have wrote me back? Send me some money? I did not want that! Back then there was the war with Spain and you would have never abandoned your brothers to come to me and to our baby and honestly, I wasn’t so sure I wanted you to” she closed her eyes then, trying to look as calm as possible.  
“You weren’t? You… did not want me to be with you? You gave me that ultimatum, I though you wanted me, as….as much as I wanted you…But you didn’t?” He asked confused 

As much as I wanted you

Those words were difficult to hear, because despite everything that had happened in between, she couldn’t stop thinking that he wanted her, he came for her at the crossroad, he kept that stupid glove for years and yet now it was too late for everything.

Then she returned to the present “Of corse not.” She said resolute  
“But I thought you wanted this…us…together”   
“I did. But I wanted you to choose me, I wanted you to want this… I didn’t want to trap you with a baby. I did not want you to stay with me because it was the honorable thing to do. I never wanted something like that. Never.” The pain in her eyes was clear.  
“So you…you raised the child on your own, with no money, no status, no friends… how did you manage that?” he asked genuinely curious.  
“I…got married” she felt strange saying that, it was weird. She got married a few times after Athos but she never really felt “bound” to any of her other husbands, the truth was that despite everything Athos was her one true love and to admit that, seeing how they managed to destroy their relationship, was painful. 

Those words hurt him deeply, too. She got married. His wife, to someone else…that was…unthinkable, some else had been her husband, her lover, her companion. He felt jealous…this man had his wife and his child, this man stole his life, or his possible likely life.

“Where is he now?” Athos asked, genuinely interested.  
“He’s dead. He was an old, kind man, he died of natural causes. He… knew the truth…about me, about us…about me being pregnant. I told him and he offered to marry me, to recognize my son as his own. He offered me friendship, stability, a good life for me and for my son and an income after his death and so I married him and I became the Duchess of Buckingham.”   
He was shocked then “Wait what?? Your husband was the Duke of Buckingham? He was one of the closest friend of the King of England, he had claimed on the throne himself…The Stafforts are one of the most ancient and influential family in England!”

And against all odds in that moment she smiled. In that moment she saw Oliver in Athos’s eyes. She saw her husband, the Comte, who loved to give her lessons about the european royalty. He really loved that, to explain to her how his family was related to this or that other family.

And he too in that moment though about those time when he used to explain this things to his beautiful wife

…

“For royalty marriage is never about love. It’s about making an alliance or strengthen one’s family position or claim to a throne.”  
“But you married me, not a duchess or a baroness, my dear husband. What can we deduce from that? I want to hear it” she had a beautiful smile, she was so genuinely happy.  
“You already know, what I think about this…Titles, money, status… are nothing compared to love. I would give up everything I have for you”  
“I love you Oliver” she said while she was about to cry  
“I love you too, Anne. And I promise you something now, our children will marry who they want. They will marry for love, I want them to be as happy as we are, mon amour” he said caressing her face.  
“Our children? We don’t have children yet.” She said in a mockery tone.  
“Well…Maybe I can do something about this…” Oliver said smiling  
“Surely you can, or better…you must…” She said flirting   
"As you wish" He kissed her in that moment.  
That memory from their past was so beautiful and so consuming at the same time…  
….

Then she talked and he was brought back to the present day   
“That’s why I left. That’s why after his death I faked my son’s death and run away. Despite everything, the Stafforts wanted to control me and through me, my son’s life. They would have taken him away from me and I could not accept that, so we came back and…well you know the rest.”  
“Oh God Anne… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” and he meant it, he felt miserable for everything she had suffered because of him.

She breathed and then said bitterly “I wanted to tell you, you know…when I found the glove and understood that you actually went at the crossroad. I wanted to, I imagined your reaction and couldn’t wait for you to know it. I was a little scared, too, but I hoped we would have become a family again, what a foolish fantasy! Then we saw each other, you hugged me, you kissed me and everything was perfect and then…” she stopped there, the memory of what he did 3 years before was too much “then I destroyed everything, again” he finished for her.  
“You did” she didn’t want to be cruel in that moment, and yet she just felt so  
“We could have had it all, but eventually we weren’t so meant to be I guess.”  
“Don’t say that Anne, not ever again please”  
“But…my dear former Comte, former Captain…it is the truth. You never choose me, you choose your honor, your fears above me, every-time. I was courageous time and again. I forgave you, I gave us a second and a third chance And you did not want that at all!” she cried, half angry, half sad  
“I was a coward and I’m truly sorry, I already told you that, I’ll keep telling that everyday if it’s what it takes” he said desperate   
“I’m…confused, I don’t know what are you implying and I’m not sure I want to. You left me, more than once…You left me and now you are alone and suddenly you want me back. I say no. No. No…It’s too late.” Her tone was full of pain.  
“No it’s not. It will never be too late, you were right, Anne, I’m bound to you, as you are to me. I’ve always been and I’ll always be. But let me add something, being bound to you it’s not like a course, it’s not like I have no choice. On the contrary, it means you are my choice. I chose you and I choose you now, I chose you now I’m late and I’m so sorry about that, truly but I want to make it right now, I… want you and I and I want him.”  
“I can’t… I though I would have never seen you again, I though this part of my life was over. I really believed that, even if I saw you everyday in my son’s face.”

He stopped for a moment and looked directly at her “This hurt you. Having him in your life, reminding of me, of what I did to you, of what you lost” he said in a sad tone, that was a consideration, not a question.  
She shaked her head “No, I love him, I would do anything for him… I do not regret having him, not at all. He is the joy of my life.”   
“That’s not what I meant”  
“Yeah that’s exactly what you meant but…I... partly I am glad that you are his father. You, the lo…You” she stopped just in time, just before saying something she would have regretted later.

He wanted to reassure her and so he said calmly “I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes. You are worth it Anne and I’m sorry I did not understand that before.”  
She was not confident, not yet “I still feel…a second choice” she said bitterly.  
“But you are not” and he said that in such a resolute tone that for a moment she believed him.  
But it was just a moment “How can I know that? If Sylvie were alive, if she had your child…Would you still want me?”  
“I‘ve already told you…What I had with her wasn’t what I had with you, it wasn’t… real. I wasn’t myself back then, I was trying so hard to be some else and I was wrong. I was so wrong. I just wanted to seem fine, to seem ok, to seem healed and I forgot about who I really was and then I saw you and I couldn’t pretend anymore. I stopped pretending and”  
Those words were too much “You stopped for a moment. A single moment and then you chocked me!” she then realized she was actually still very mad for that “You said you respected me and then you chocked me…You tried to kill me, again!” she cried.  
“I never intended to! I was scared, I was scared of us, of all those emotions I was feeling. It was easier to let Sylvie love me than facing our history, our past. I was wrong and if you need to hear this, I will repeat my apologies every day… I never meant to turn you into this.” He said honestly.  
“Into what exactly? a spy? a killer? a murdering whore? a foul and ugly thing? a stranger who cheats and lies and kills without conscience?”  
“Into a deeply hurt woman, who is always scared for her life and who doesn’t trust anyone.”  
She could feel his sadness in that moment and he could feel her despair.  
then he continued “I think about who you were when I met you and I’m so sorry I did this to you.”

In that moment she spoke and she said something she did not expected at all “I’m sorry too, maybe…maybe I should have told you the truth from the start. Maybe I should have told you who I was, where I came from, what I did to survive. Maybe I should have been honest with you, maybe this would have changed everything.”

They looked each other in the eyes for what it seemed an eternity, then she begged him  
“Could you just leave now, please?”  
“…As you wish”  
he closed his eyes and then continued “…But can I come tomorrow?”  
“No, I’m sorry no, not here. This is where I live, where my son lives”  
“Our son”  
“… and I don’t want you here. I don’t know if I can trust you again.”

We have no reason in the world to trust each other and yet who can we trust? 

That memory hit him more than he showed. 7 years before she was willing to trust him even after everything that happened, even of he had sentenced her to death, even if he did not believed her, even if he had been harsh with her. Now she could barely look at him. 

He nodded “I hope to see you around, Anne” and then he left.  
She remained there without saying a thing for what it seemed an eternity and then, without even thinking carefully she called him “Maybe we can meet at the tavern”  
He turned “What?”  
“Tomorrow. We can’t meet here, not yet, but we could meet at the tavern.”  
He was extremely surprise but happy at the same time “Sure. I’d like that”  
“Well then, tomorrow at 5 p.m. Be punctual”   
Then she turned and walked into her house but she still could hear him whispering softly “Yes, mon amour” and in that moment, despite everything, she started smiling.


	4. The past is never dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked so serious and mature in that moment “You seem strange mom. Are you afraid of him?”  
> Anne thought about it for a second, oh yes she was afraid of him. She was afraid of what she felt for him, of what he felt for her. She was afraid go their past, she was afraid because the past is never dead and no matter how much years had gone, deep down she knew a love like theirs could never die

Anne entered her house still emotionally devastated by the meeting with her husband.

“Mom?” her son stopped playing and looked at her worried.  
“My love come here” she said and she genuinely smiled looking at him. He came and she hugged him “Are you ok, sweetie?”  
The boy nodded but with a concerned look said “Yeah mom, I’m fine but you look…”  
“I’m ok darling” Anne answered trying to calm and reassure him.  
The boy still wasn’t convinced “Who was that man?” he asked with a serious tone  
Anne smiled at him “He was an old friend of mine. He once was the Captain of the musketeers”  
Raoul got excited hearing that “and what does he do now? Is he still a musketeer? Is he a soldier? a pirate? Is he a spy like you? Does he work for the Queen, too?”  
Anne realized that she did not know, she realized she did not even asked him “The truth my dear is that I don’t know. I’m meeting him tomorrow so we can have a talk.”  
“Can I meet him, too?” Raoul said smiling  
“I don’t know darling. First I meet him, ok? Step by step.”   
“As you want mom. But I have one question, is he a good man?” He was not really fully reassured  
Anne looked worried at his boy, she couldn't really understand what bothered him and caressed his face saying “Why are you asking?”  
He looked so serious and mature in that moment “You seem strange mom. Are you afraid of him?”  
Anne thought about it for a second, oh yes she was afraid of him. She was afraid of what she felt for him, of what he felt for her. She was afraid go their past, she was afraid because the past is never dead and no matter how much years had gone, deep down she knew a love like theirs could never die.  
She stopped immediately that thought and then she talked to her son “No, no. I’m not afraid and you shouldn’t either, he’s a good man, he would never harm you. He helped me saving the late King and the Queen Regent once”  
“Oh mom can you tell me this story, please? Please?”  
“I’ll tell you before sleep ok?”  
“Ok”

And so she told him, she told him how she and Athos saved the King, the Queen and the Delphine, how brave they were (but obviously she skipped how many people died and… well their flirting during that adventure)

“You are a hero, mom!” Raoul cried  
Anne laughed then “Shhh… Now it’s time to sleep, sleep well my angel” and she kissed his forehead.  
The boy smiled “I want to become a musketeers one day. I’ll be a great swordsman and and I’ll help you, I’ll serve the Queen!”  
Anne laughed then “And you’ll protect me? You’ll be my hero?”  
“Yes, mom, I’ll protect you. I’ll be brave. No one will ever harm you, I promise.” Anne looked at his cute, beautiful son, the boy seemed a knight swearing fealty to a princess, he was so adorable. “I love you my sweet boy. Now sleep”

Anne looked again at his son, his beautiful boy and in that moment she realized something, he looked so much like Athos. He always wanted to do the right thing, he always wanted to protect the weak and uphold the good. Sometimes she found difficult to believe that he was actually her son. But yet, at the same time, he had a gift for stealing, which made her really proud.   
The truth was that he was a mixture of both of them, and she loved him very much. He was the one pure thing she had done in her life and she was so happy to have him, she was so proud of her beautiful child. 

But then she wondered, whether it was a good idea to have Athos in his life, too. She did not know. 

She never really considered to raise her child with him.   
3 years before she believed for a moment they could have tried to be a couple, a family, again. But it was just a moment and then he destroyed everything.   
Now everything had changed again and Anne did not know how she felt about it, the only thing she was sure about was that she felt deeply confused. She loved Oliver and she loved Athos but she disliked the Musketeer’s Captain she had meet after the war, she disliked the man that had almost choked her and that despite everything that happened between them did not care for her, the man that she was sure would have never believed her, the man that did not want her. She wasn't sure with one of this she had spoken before. Athos? Oliver? the Captain? She needed to sleep, she needed to stop thinking about that for a while.

 

Athos had no idea where to go now, or what to do. He had a son, a young, beautiful son, Raoul and he had found Anne again, he had never dared to hope to see her again and yet he would have seen her again the next day, his Anne was still alive and she was happy, really happy, even without him. He wanted her. He had always wanted her, he had never stopped. The truth was that his love for her never disappeared, never died, not when he sentenced her to die, nor when she tried to kill him, and not even when he left with another. 

He really needed to talk about this but since his return to Paris he did not visit any of his old friends. He did not even know if they still lived there. Except for Aramis, obviously, who ruled their country with the Queen and the young King. He smiled at that thought, he really never thought Aramis and the Queen could have had their happy ending, life is full of surprise isn’t it? 

He kept walking through the street of Paris, without any particular destination. Then he heard a male voice calling him: “Athos? Is that you?” He recognized that voice and then he turned and looked him in the eyes “Porthos” and in that moment the two mates hugged.   
He was really surprised to see his old friend “Why did you not tell me you were in town? Where is Sylvie?”  
“She died, almost 3 years ago.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” and he felt that way, his friend seemed destined for unhappiness.  
“Thank you but it’s ok. It was a long time ago I’m alright now.”  
“Ok, would you like to go to the Garrison?” 

Porthos was so happy to see him again, he still couldn’t believe he was standing in front of him.  
Athos shaked his head, he was not ready to visit the Garrison again, not yet “No. no…I would rather go somewhere else…”  
Porthos was a little surprised then but he wanted Athos to feel comfortable so he got an idea “Ok..then we could go to the tavern and have dinner there. Would that be ok?” he said.  
“Yeah, absolutely.” Athos nodded satisfied.


	5. Did you know about him? About her?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is that Sylvie and I did not really work out. We were always fighting and it was all my fault. I…I realized that I wanted peace, I wanted to be loved and I wanted the calm life of the country…I just did not want that with her

“It’s good to see you Athos, I’ve missed you. We all have missed you.” Porthos said honestly  
Athos was touched and smiled softly “I’ve missed you too, all of you. How are the others?”   
“Well… D’Artagnan loves being the Captain and he’s really good at it. Do you believe that? Our little gascon has become the leader. He and Constance are quite happy, she’s still working at the service of the Queen. Anyway, he’s in abroad now, he is on a mission. On the other hand Aramis, the former monk, is the leader of the nation! Oh he will be so happy to see you again. Sadly D’Artagnan, as I said, is not here now but we can still have a wonderful reunion.”  
“Where is he?”  
“He’s in England. Aramis wants to create an alliance against Spain, it’s politics, really boring stuffs.”  
“And you? Are you ok?”  
“Yes, my dear friend, I’m fine. I have everything I ever wanted, one beautiful wife, one child, a second one is coming soon. I’m still a musketeers even if I’m not that young anymore but at the end of the day I really can’t complain.” Porthos said smiling

Athos was positively surprised, his friend really looked good

“But tell me, Athos, how are you? Why are you here? Why did you come back?” He wanted so badly to know what happened to his friend in the previous 3 years.  
Athos breathed heavily and then said “The truth is that I hated the country”  
Porthos nodded sadly “I can’t imagine, after Sylvie’s death it must have been hard to keep leaving there”  
“Yes but…No it’s not like that…” in that moment Athos stopped and felt incredibly guilty and ashamed   
His friend tried to assure him “You can tell me anything. I’ll not be judging you”  
Athos avoided his friend’s eyes and then finally spoke “The truth…The truth is that Sylvie and I did not really work out. We were always fighting and it was all my fault. I…I realized that I wanted peace, I wanted to be loved and I wanted the calm life of the country…I just did not want that with her.” He hesitated again for another moment and then continued “I wanted that with another.” 

Porthos looked at his dear friend, he was so sad and he could feel his guilt and in that moment he realized what he really meant.“Oh my God, you wanted that with Anne”

Athos nodded 

“At first I did not know that, at first I thought I wanted her, at first I though I loved her, but I…I never did. Sylvie was kind, gentle, funny, intelligent and fascinating, she was perfect but she wasn’t Anne. I missed her so much, I missed her all the time and I felt guilty for missing her. I had dreams about her every night and I knew that was wrong, trust me, I knew.   
Sylvie was carrying my child but I wanted another, I wanted my wife. Every hug, every kiss I just closed my eyes … and all I could think about was Anne and eventually Sylvie understood that. In the end she was miserable and angry and she hated me, she wanted to leave but she felt trapped because of the baby. We were both deeply unhappy even if we tried to make it work. She and the baby died in childbirth and I left and spent the last two years traveling around France. All I wanted was to stop feeling. All that pain I felt, all that pain that I’ve caused, too. I wanted to forget…”

“And now you’re back”  
“I am and still have no idea what to do”

Porthos hesitated for a moment and then continued “Have you seen her?”  
Athos nodded “I actually have, I come from her house now”  
Porthos did not expect that “Oh wow so… have you seen him?”  
“Raoul? Do you know about him?” Athos said genuinely surprised  
“Yes I know him” the fellow musketeers answered   
“That’s not what I asked” Athos said bitterly   
He felt guilty in that moment, he kept some huge secrets from his friend “Athos I’m sorry I…”  
“Did you know about him? About her? Answer!” he cried desperate

He breathed heavily and then said “Yes, yes I…I knew about him and I’m sorry”  
He was shocked and stared at him speechless, then cried at him “I can’t believe that. You knew my wife had my child and did not bother to tell me! My wife! My child! My family!”  
“I’m sorry” he whispered softly  
“Stop saying that” Athos cried bitterly  
Porthos wanted his friend to see his point “But I am. I thought it was best this way. You had Sylvie and I thought you two were happy! I thought that you two were starting a family and honestly Anne had already suffered enough. I really thought it was for the best…Athos, please, talk to me!”  
Athos nodded “I understand why you did that, I really do but at the same time it hurts me so deeply. Did everyone know? Was I the last one to find out?”  
“No…Not really”  
“Explain yourself”  
“D’Artagnan, Aramis, Constance even the Queen, know that Milady de Winter has a son but… they don’t know that Anne is the mother of your son.”  
“But you do”

Porthos nodded 

then Athos continued “She…she told you?”  
“No, not at first but… I figured it out, you know… I knew what happened between you two before the war so…”  
“and then you two became friend. I’m not too surprised, actually, you always had a soft spot for her”  
Porthos smiled “I…yes, I've always liked her after all. She made some mistakes but her life was never easy and then she redeemed herself and now she’s working for the Queen. I can get that. I, too, was born poor. I just was more lucky”  
“… And she likes you too…”   
“I suppose. We connected somehow”  
Athos nodded and said sadly “You can understand her in a way I never had and never will probably”  
Porthos felt he needed to reassure his friend “Athos you have no reason to be jealous”  
Athos did not answered   
Porthos hesitated for a moment and then he said “You have no reason to be jealous...She... She loves you still”  
“She’s mad at me and she has every reason to be so” Athos said with sad eyes  
“She loves you. She never stopped and never will. She might be really angry and hurt and yes she hates you sometimes but this cannot cancel her love for you. She never managed to move on from you, and well that perfect copy of you she’s raising does not help at all.”  
“He really looks like me. Does he?” he said with a proud smile  
“He does, and he is very sweet and kind, but he looks like Anne, too. Last year he stole D’Artagnan’s birthday cake, that was hilarious” he laughed and Athos laughed too.   
“How is she as mother? Is she happy? She looked happy” He asked concerned   
“She loves him and she does her best to be present in his life. When she needs to go on mission she leaves him to me or to Costance. We are a huge family, kind of, a huge weird family, actually”  
Athos was surprised “Wait what? Costance?”  
His friend smiled “Yeah. Against all odds she likes the boy and get along with Anne, or sort of.”  
“Unbelievable”  
“Everyone likes your son and he loves staying at garrison, he always wants to hear stories about our adventures, he’s cute, he’s such a fan!” Porthos had a soft smile.

Then Athos said hesitantly “…but no-one thinks he’s my son…No-one suspects it”  
“Yeah, only me”  
“She should have told me. We were always awful at timing”  
“You two are doomed, tragic, destructive and yet epic, cosmic, meant to be.”  
“What are you saying?”  
“I’m saying that you should try”  
“To… win her back?”  
“Yes. She never stopped loving you, I know that. She is really deeply hurt, too. It will take quite some time to get over all your history but I think she will, I think she still wants you, but she have to admit it to herself first, that's not an easy thing to do. But I give you a fair warning, Athos, do not break her heart again. Be careful this time. I’m rotting for you my dear friend, I love you both and I want you to be together again, I really want you two to be happy but if you leave her again I won’t be on your side this time”  
“I.. I won’t break her hearth again, I promise”  
“Good”


	6. The two Anne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne meets Anne

Anne walked anxiously towards the Palace. She had a meeting with the Queen to discuss her spying but she could’t really focus. Her husband had come back, for real, and maybe for good this time and she couldn’t understand how this made her feel. 

She didn't needed him in her life, she was strong and she didn’t need her husband to be happy. She had her beautiful son and he was enough.  
She didn’t need a romantic relationship and surely she didn’t need someone that hurt her so much before. She didn’t need Oliver d’Athos, former Comte de la Fère, former Captain of the Musketeers, she didn’t need him in her life. 

But then she thought about Raoul. He deserved to know his father, or at least to have a chance of knowing him, he was his father, she never had that chance and her beautiful boy deserved it. He looked so much like Athos and not only physically. Probably, if they had known each other, they would have loved each other’s company, her son already loved the others Musketeers, especially Porthos, and deep down she knew he would have loved and admired Athos too. 

She had to stopped that thought, she needed to focus now, the Queen was ready to receive her.

“Your majesty”  
“Lady Anne is a pleasure to meet you” 

Anne smiled and bowed before her. Yes, the Queen called her “lady Anne” because, against all odds, in the years spent working together they had learned to understand, appreciate and almost like each other, so one day the Queen Regent of France asked her about her real name and surprisingly the only name that felt real to her was Anne. 

Anne, like Anne de Breuil, the girl who married the young Comte for love, the same one that died the day her husband decided to execute her, and yet she felt Anne was her only real name. It seemed another life and yet it felt the only real life she had ever had.  
So she told the Queen Regent of France that her real name was Anne. The woman laughed at that time, she could not believe that the two of them shared the same name but then, in time, surprisingly, she found out other similarities between the two of them. 

So the Queen Regent of France called her Lady Anne and was her friend, or kind of, but this happened only in private. In public they didn’t act like they knew each other personally, infact even if Milady the Winter visited often the Palace, she and the Queen never spoke to each other in public, afterwards Milady had been the mistress of her Majesty’s husband, the late King Louis XXIII, so the two women weren’t supposed to like each other, it was all part of the political Game.

“Your majesty is always so kind to me. These are the letters that you requested” and she handed them to the Queen  
“The one you’ve retrieved from the Spanish spy, right?”  
“Yes” Anne replied simply  
“Have you done analyzing them?” the Queen asked worried  
“Yes, I’ve decoded them, there are some vital information about your brother” Anne said calmly  
“So… is it true? Did he turn one of my ladies into a spy?” the Queen asked sadly  
“He did, Spanish spies are present everywhere in the palace. They serve in the kitchen, in the stable, even in your private chambers. With the originals letters you can also find my decoding. Many of your servants are spies. I’m sorry” she said honestly  
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I thank you for your help and your loyalty” The Queen said smiling  
Anne nodded “I’m at your service, as always. Do you need me for something else now?”  
“No, no. Just keep in touch with yours informers for now, then we’ll see”  
the Queen stopped for a second and then continued “What do you think about this alliance with England? Am I doing the right thing?”  
Anne looked her straight in the eyes and then said resolute “Yes, you are. Your brother… is not an alley you can trust and you need a strong one in Europe in oder to secure your son’s reign. There is no other way, you’re doing the right thing, do not doubt yourself”  
“Thank you lady Anne”  
“I’m always here if you need me, your Majesty, you must know that” 

The Queen looked her in the eyes and saw something strange in her but she couldn’t understand what exactly “I know… Are you all right?”  
“Yes, of course” Anne affirmed secure  
But she didn’t convince her Queen “I know you, there’s something bothering you, I can see it”  
“It’s nothing, your Majesty” Anne was almost pissed in that moment. She didn’t want to share private information with the Queen but obviously she was a Queen and therefore she felt justified even in interfering in her private life.  
“Tell me please, after everything you have done for me… Tell me, I want to help you” she practically begged  
The Queen was really determined but Anne had no intention of discussing her husband with her boss “I appreciate your concern, I really d,o but there is no need for this”

Anne bowed again and then turned. She was leaving the room, when the Queen cried “Tell me at least if you are safe, if Raoul is safe. Do you need anything?”  
“We don’t and yes, we are safe”  
The Queen continued “So… if this is not about your physical safety then it’s about your heart”  
Anne stopped and turned, the Queen continued to speak “You’re afraid that someone could break your heart, isn’t it?”  
“I am not afraid” Anne said fiercely  
The Queen was curious “Who is he? Do I know him?”  
“There is no him” Anne answered resolute  
The Queen smiled excited “Yes, there is. I can see it…Don’t deny yourself the possibility of love, I know that all that happened with Athos must have been… difficult. But you have to move on and to..”  
And in that moment Anne couldn’t resist any longer and cried angrily “Stop it, your Majesty! Stop it please! It’s no-one new, it’s him, it’s my husband, it’s Athos!”  
The Queen was shocked “Athos..?”  
Anne nodded “Yes, he’s back, I’ve seen him a week ago… and yesterday and well…I’m seeing him also today”  
The Queen couldn’t believe her “Anne?????”  
“He’s back and I’m confused and..”  
The Queen interrupted her “Anne, don’t do this to yourself. He’s happy with some-else, he has his own family now, I know this must be painful for you but you have to let him go, you..”  
He has his own family, that sounded so hilarious at that moment, yes he had a family. A family he didn’t know about before the previous day, while the family the Queen was referring to never existed in the first place, so she interrupted the Queen and said “No, not anymore. Sylvie passed away years ago and so did her baby”  
“Oh, poor Athos” the Queen said with a shocked and sad tone  
“Yes, it’s sad, it happens but still…”

Then the Queen continued her interrogation “What does he want from you? Why are you meeting him? What did he tell you?”  
“He apologized for everything and said he wants me back” Anne said trying not to show any kind of emotion. She answered, she did not meant to but it just happened.  
The Queen want to understand “and you said…?”  
Anne was nervous “I don’t know! I mean…I can’t, I don’t want to. He left me 3 years ago, he kissed me, hugged me and then chocked me and then eventually he left with his pregnant mistress. He abandoned me, again, as he did when he had sentenced me to death. He could have come looking for me after the war but he didn’t and now? Now he decides he never stopped loving me just because he’s alone. I don’t want this, I don’t want him” Anne really did not meant to share these confidences with the Queen but she just couldn't stop.  
The Queen nodded “Are you sure?”  
Anne tried to calm down, the poor Queen never asked for her break-down “I think I am, but he confuses me, despite everything he’s still my husband, the great love of my life, the fath…What I mean is that is difficult” she immediately cursed herself, why did she say those things aloud? What was she thinking? The answer is simply, she wasn’t thinking  
The Queen was even more shocked than before “Wait what??? The fath…er? Is he the father of your son?”  
There was no need to deny it at this point and so she said simply “Yes”  
The Queen whispered “Oh my God… You never told me… I would have never imagined it”  
“There was no reason to tell you or anyone else. He was gone for good, or at least this is what I thought” Anne said bitterly  
The Queen asked calmly “Does he know?”  
“Now yes, he found out just yesterday”  
“…and he wants to know him, I guess” the Queen continued  
“Yes” Anne said simply  
“…and you don’t know what to do”  
Anne shacked her head “I don’t…No well… I do, Raoul has any right to know his father but this doesn’t mean it is easy for me”  
The Queen nodded and said with a calm tone “You have to be strong, for you and for Raoul. Give yourself and your son some time to adjust to this new reality. Then you’ll see. You don’t need to rush anything, just wait and see, things will alright and clear at some point, Anne, I can promise you that” she wanted so much to reassure Anne  
But Anne had not been reassured at all and said with an uncertain tone “I hope so”  
“They will” the Queen said with a resolute look in her eyes  
“Thank you for this talk but now I should leave, I will continue with my espionage and warn you if there is something you need to know, your Majesty” Anne said and bowed again  
“Good luck, Lady Anne. I hope you may find the peace you’re looking for” the Queen said with a sad smile


	7. Milady de Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You may be my husband and the father of my child, but you have no right of calling me Anne, don’t do it again, not ever. You killed Anne, you didn’t believe Anne and you sentenced her to death, you destroyed Anne, you turn Anne into the Cardinal’s creature and yes I forgave you for that but this doesn’t mean I have forgotten”

Anne had arrived at the tavern a little worried about the meeting with her husband.  
Athos was a part of her life, again. And he knew about Raoul. He was Raoul’s father, there was no way to avoid this, not now, not ever. Athos, her husband, the love of her life, the man that did not believe her and that abandoned her time and again was back and wanted to stay. 

But what was worse is that hey shared a son, so she knew she had to get used to idea of seeing him regularly. Athos, regularly. Every week, every months, forever. That’s something she had never expected, never. She breathed deeply and closed the eyes before entering. The whole situation was a mess, she did not want to face her past this time but she had no choice.  
Athos was back and she needed to have a talk with him about their son.

She saw him, he was sitting in the same place he used to years before and that view made her smile a little “You know, you are a very difficult man to find” she said without thinking  
“Are you pleased to see me?” her husband said looking at her with a soft smile  
“Oh, are you stealing my lines now?” she said almost offended  
Athos smiled “It was the last proper conversation we had here”  
Anne had a sad look in her eyes in that moment “I’m aware. You told me there was nothing left to save in me”  
“I didn’t mea..”  
“Stop it. I don’t care. I’m not here for us”  
“Anne I…”  
“No”  
“No?”  
“You may be my husband and the father of my child, but you have no right of calling me Anne, don’t do it again, not ever. You killed Anne, you didn’t believe Anne and you sentenced her to death, you destroyed Anne, you turn Anne into the Cardinal’s creature and yes I forgave you for that but this doesn’t mean I have forgotten”  
“Ann…Milady”  
She nodded “Yes, to you I’m Milady de Winter now. I was willing to be Anne again when I asked you to come to England with me and I was willing to be Anne again when I found out you did come at the crossroad but now, to you, I’m Milady de Winter”  
“You are also the mother of my son” he whispered  
“Yes, I am. And that’s why I am here” she said resolute He nodded “I’m listening”  
“… What do you plan to do now? What are you going to do?”  
“My former tenants send me some money monthly but I was thinking I could be a musketeer again”  
“And would you really work under the new Captain…?”  
“That will be odd… but yes, of course, I would”  
“Why?” she asked speechless  
“For you” he said simply

Anne forgot her anger for one moment and smiled softly “It will be nice to work on the same side, for once”  
“We’ve already did it, more than once” he said pleased  
“Yeah I recall now, it was nice” Anne said with a satisfied smiled  
“It was more than nice, it was sexy, both times” Athos said with a light in his eyes  
“How presumptuous” Anne said smiling  
“Do you want to deny it? What about when I…”  
“Yes, yes but now stop it, please, stop it. I’ve told you. I’m here to discuss Raoul, not us” she said resolute  
“Yes Milady, as you wish” he said unconvinced    
Anne felt angry in that moment, she wanted to look distant and not emotionally involved.  
She wanted him to pay for the pain he had caused and yet she had missed him so much.  
Seeing him again, being able to talk to him again, was something she had never expected to happen again and against her better judgement she liked it.

She then realized he was waiting for her to speak

“You can meet him, I won’t keep you two apart, but you have to follow some simple rules” “Of course” he nodded  “First, You can never be drunk in his presence. Never. When you are with my son, you must be completely sober. I will not have Raoul around a drunk man.”   
She paused a moment before continuing “Second, you can’t see him alone. Not now, maybe someday but not now. When you’ll meet him I always want someone I can trust to watch over you two. That’s not negotiable”  
 “I can accept that”

“I’ m not finished. Third, when you are with him, watch your tone and your manners. Be kind and gentle, never use bad words and if you tell him stories about your adventures as a musketeer, and trust me you will, try to… avoid some parts. You know like blood-shade, killing, violence, flirting etc etc” “Flirting?” he cried surprised  
“Yeah. I don’t want him to know about us” “Excuse me?” he said confused and offended  “I don’t want to confuse him, we are over, I don’t want him to think that we might have a chance of coming back together, he doesn’t need to phantasize about us”  
“Ann… Milady what does he know about me? Does he know about me?” He asked curious  
“He knows…soft of. I never lied to my son. He knows his father was my first husband and that he left for the war against Spain and that I have no idea where he is now and if he is still alive.”  
“So you don’t lie, you just omit” he acknowledged  
“I did what I thought was best. I never meant to harm the one I love” she whispered more to herself than to him and Athos understood what she meant in that moment. She meant she was sorry, she meant she was really trying to save their love when she killed Thomas, or when she lied about her past. She meant that their love was real and that she had fought for it. 

“I know, I’m sorry”  
“I gave you everything”

and in that moment he held her hand like he did 7 years before but this time, unexpectedly she didn’t move. For a moment the time stopped and they looked each other in the eyes. She felt vulnerable, she hated that power her husband held over her. She looked him in the eyes and she saw all. His regret, his sadness, his lust, his love, his pain. But all those feelings weren’t enough. All those feelings couldn’t cancel the pain she felt, how deeply she had been hurt or how profound her anger was.

“Get your hands off of me, please” she said calmly  
“I’m sorry I..” he said hesitantly  
“Stop saying that. You chocked me, 3 years ago. I did nothing to provoke you and you chocked me because you assumed I had something to do with Sylvie’s disappearance. You chocked me 9 years ago in oder to trick me into believe that D’Artagnan was on my side and not yours. You let Catherine play with me, threatening me with that rope. You were there and you let her do that! You knew how terrified I was in that moment. You knew the effect that that situation had on me! You knew! But you needed to see what I had to say, no matter how such a thing could hurt me deeply. Did it matter to you how scared I was? Have you ever thought about it? About how scared I was? Have you ever thought that I had nightmares for years about my execution? I still carry the token of your love! Have you forgotten?” and saying that she touched her neck. She was so angry in that moment, so sad, so desperate.  
“Ann…Milady” they looked each other in the eyes, she was about to cry. She thought she had got over all this pain. She thought all of this was behind her, she thought she had forgotten, but how could she? 

She continued “This is who you are, this is who you have always been. You are passionate and trust me, Athos this is something I’ve always loved about you but this passion that burns in you can be so… destructive. So I warn you one time, don’t be like that around Raoul. Do not scream when you are with him, do not threat him. If I ever find out that you have been violent to him or cruel to him in any way I will kill you, without hesitation” she said with this lethal look that really scared him.  
Then she breathed and continued “We had our.. issues but I know you can be good with my son. I know you can be a good influence over him. I know you. I know your angry side but I also know your soft side, I know how you can love. Everyone should be loved like that at least one time in a lifetime. When you love, you love without any limit, you love deeply, you are passionate. You are willing to give everything to the person you love, you are willing to fight again common sense for the persons you love, I know you can be like this. I’ve seen it and I want him to know a love like this”

Anne hesitated a moment and then continued “I really want him to know you. I do. But regarding us…We are dysfunctional, we hurt each other, we destroy each other and I know I’m also to blame for what happened to us, I know that but… Athos you should respect me for real this time. So when I tell you, we are over, trust me, we are over. When I tell you, you should not touch me, I mean it. I still need time to process this whole thing, your coming back. So please, please, for now respect my wishes. Respect me enough. Do not touch me, do not talk about us and when you’ll meet my son, follow those simple rules I gave you, please…” she practically begged him

“I can do that, I promise. But let me say one last thing. I want you, I never stopped wanting you and I’ll give you space and I’ll give you time and I’ll wait and I’ll accept every role you will give me. I’ll be the father of your child, or your friend, or your enemy. As long as I’ll be able to see you, to talk to you, to be in your life…then I’m ok, I’ll spend the rest of my days trying to make amend for what I did to you. I just want you to be happy. I want to spend every minute of my day to make you happy. That’s… what I want to do for the rest of my life! And if seeing me will become too painful for you, then I’ll leave. You, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be happy more than I deserve you, so… yes I just want you to be happy. So you are the one that have the power now. I’ll respect your rules and I’ll try to be a good father for our son and a good friend for you. I want to be happy, even without me, I want you to be happy more than anything else, I’ll always want you to be happy, I love you” He did not meant to say that aloud, he knew her and he did not meant to scare her with that declaration but he couldn’t prevent himself from doing that  
“…Oliver ”


	8. How are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Porthos/Anne
> 
> “He says he loves me”  
> “He does” he replied secure   
> “Yes? How do you know that?” and she turned her face towards him  
> “I do. I’ve seen it”   
> “Yeah, me too. Especially when he left with his mistress”

Anne knew she had to talk with her son. She knew this day would have come eventually, she just didn’t think it would have come so soon. She needed to tell him the whole truth about his father and this terrified her. What would his reaction have been? Would he have been angry at her? Or sad? Or speechless? She wanted to protect him from every possible kind of pain but this time she had no choice, this time she could not protect him, not from this.  
She took a deep breath, Raoul probably would have been angry at her and he had any right to be so but she had no regrets, she did what she did to protect him, like she always did in the past, she always did anything to protect those she loved.

Her boy meant everything to her, she couldn’t loose him and she couldn’t bare to see him hurt. What if Athos were a disappointment to him? What if he left again? What if he made Raoul suffer?

She needed to talk with him, to prepare him.

She went at the Garrison to pick him up. Of course her baby boy had insisted to go there when she told him she had a meeting with the Queen. She smiled, her boy always took any possible excuse to visit the Garrison.

A part of her had feared that he could have met Athos there but then that same morning she had met Porthos, even if only briefly, because he was really in a hurry. Despite this they had shared some informations about Athos’s return. In this way she had found out that her husband had refused to even visit the Garrison since his return, so she felt quite secure letting her son staying at the Garrison, while she was busy.

Once she arrived there she started looking for her boy and he saw him playing sword with Porthos. He looked so happy, she wished for that happiness to last forever. They two of them did not notice her at first and she just enjoyed watching them playing. Her son was so determined, he had a light in his eyes, he liked the fight, he was just a boy and yet at the same time he was really strong, focused and determined. He never gave up, her little son was already so stubborn, he hated to loose, he never surrendered, even when he was tired and wound.

Then Porthos noticed her “Hey little one, look who is here!” He told Raoul  
The boy turned “Mom!” He cried and came to hugged her  
“My little soldier. Did you behave good?”  
“Yes mom! Uncle Porthos has taught me some new moves. Do you want to see?” he said excited  
“Yes of course! Show me!” and the little boy started moving, explaining to her mother everything he had learned

Porthos slowly came by her side and without letting anyone hear he asked her “How are you?”  
“I’m fine” she replied calmly  
“You are?” he said uncertain   
“No, of course I’m not fine, Athos is back, but yes I’m fine”  
“Did you meet him?” he asked hesitantly   
“Yes”  
“…and?”  
“He says he loves me”  
“He does” he replied secure   
“Yes? How do you know that?” and she turned her face towards him  
“I do. I’ve seen it”   
“Yeah, me too. Especially when he left with his mistress”  
“Anne..”  
“I’m not exaggerating, ok? He did. He left. He left me, he left with her” Anne said with a sad tone   
“I know. He made a mistake”  
“Only one?” and looked her friend in the eyes in that moment   
“He made some mistakes but he loves you. He had always loved you. He isn’t lying about this”  
“He doesn’t. He was willing to give up on his stupid honor for her. He said “ To Hell with the Law!” He would have done anything for her, to keep her safe, to keep her alive. She was worth it. I wasn’t”  
“No, no! Don’t say that! You were. You are”  
The two of them looked at each other smiling for a little  
Then she whispered sadly “Not for him”  
Porthos breathed heavily and then said “Anne I don’t want to defend his decisions but you must understand something. He sentenced you to death in the fury of the moment and then he spent 5 years regretting that choice. He was mad and hurt and he thought you always lied to him, he thought you never loved him, he thought you used him only for the money and the status he had and you had killed his brother and”  
“Thomas..” Anne started angrily   
“I know. I know but he believed you killed his brother because he had found out the truth about your past and Thomas was the only family he had left and..”  
“Except me. He had me. He was my family, he was the only family I had, the only family I wanted. I loved him!” she cried   
“He understood, too late, but he understood. He came at the crossroad”

She looked at her son, the son she and Athos could have raised together, happy, as a family.   
The child he did not know, the child she had to raise alone “I know, I know but it was a long time ago, then he had a choice to make and he choose her”  
Porthos shacked his head “No he didn’t. He choose himself. His happiness, or what he thought it would have made him happy”  
Hearing those things again made her angry “I already heard this story. It does not make sense at all”  
Porthos tried again to reassure her “But it does, listen Anne… He liked her, he was really found of her but he did not love her and that in his mind allowed him to be happy with her. He did not love her, so she had no power over him. She could not hurt him like you did. He wanted to be normal, to feel normal.. I’m not justifying him, Anne, but please try to understand. He’s a mess but he’s not lying, he loves you. He does”

“Mom!”  
she turned her face and look at her son “Yes darling?”  
“Are you watching, mom?” He said nervous   
“Yes sweetie, go on, you’re really good” she reassured him smiling

Anne closed her eyes for a second trying to calm her down, then she looked again at Porthos “I’m afraid he could hurt Raoul” she whispered   
“I don’t think he will” her friend replied calmly   
“But he could” she insisted   
“I’m afraid you have to take that risk” he smiled softly at her  
Anne waited a few seconds and then asked directly what scared her the most “Do you really think he’ll stay this time? For Good?”  
“Yes” he answered simply   
Then Anne continued “Raoul will love him, he will adore him”  
“Probably” Porthos said nodding

“Porthos I have to ask you a favor” Anne asked nervously   
“Anything” he answered surprised and yet at the same time ready to help her  
“I…I want you to be present when Raoul will meet his father for the first time. I just want someone I can trust watching over them, please. You don’t have to interfere… just… take a look. Will you?” she asked hopeful   
Porthos looked her in the eyes and said calmly “Anne, it’s Athos you can trust him with your son”  
She insisted again “Will you do that, please?”  
He nodded “Yes I will, of course”  
“Thank you” Anne said with relief and then she hugged him.   
Porthos smiled “You’re welcome, now go home and have that talk you don’t want to have with your son”  
Anne laughed for the first time that day “If I must…and you go home to your wife. Elodie needs you now more than ever”  
Porthos tried to reply “She is a strong woman I don’t think..”  
“Yes I know she is but trust me, she needs you. Being pregnant makes the strongest woman feel vulnerable. Our bodies change, we can’t control our feelings, we cry and we laugh without control. What I’m saying is that the men believe we are to avoid while we are expecting a baby, but the truth is quite the opposite. We may not need our partner, but we want them, just keep in mind that”  
“I will”  
“Good”


	9. My first husband and your father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne breathed heavily and the spoke to him trying to be as calm and as reassuring as possible “Do you remember the man that visit us yesterday?”  
> Raoul looked confused “You mean your friend? The former Captain of the Musketeers?”   
> Anne nodded again “Yes, him”   
> Anne continued “Yes, years ago he was the Captain of the King’s Musketeers but before that, a long time ago, almost in another life, he was the Comte de La Fere”  
> “Mom” he said hesitantly and shocked, he could not speak  
> Anne continued “A long time ago he was my husband, my first husband and your father”

Once they arrived home Anne knew that she could no longer wait to have that talk with her son. He was all sweaty and excited, he couldn’t stop moving and talking. She looked at him for a moment, she was so grateful to have such a joyful baby, she would have done anything to protect him and his innocence and she wondered another time if Athos could have been a threat to his happiness. She was terrified but she needed to tell him, she needed to face her past, again, but she feared it.

She stopped that thought, she needed to be strong, she needed to be strong for him, her sweet boy deserved that.   
She looked at him again and she forced him to have a bath and to have a change of clothes. He was still so excited and couldn’t stop talking about the afternoon he had spent at the Garrison

Once he was clean, with new clothes and after he had eaten a soup, she decided she couldn’t wait any longer. She smiled at her little one once again and then somehow she found the courage to talk to him.

She sat down on her bad and called him “Sweetie, come here. Sit with me. I need to talk to you”  
Raoul look at her anxiously and slowly came closer to his mother, then he asked her hesitantly “Is everything all-right?”   
Anne nodded “Yes, nothing you have to worry about. But I have some news for you”  
Raoul stared at her in silence, waiting for her speech 

Anne breathed heavily and the spoke to him trying to be as calm and as reassuring as possible “Do you remember the man that visit us yesterday?”  
Raoul looked confused “You mean your friend? The former Captain of the Musketeers?”   
Anne nodded again “Yes, him”   
Anne continued “Yes, years ago he was the Captain of the King’s Musketeers but before that, a long time ago, almost in another life, he was the Comte de La Fere”  
“Mom” he said hesitantly and shocked, he could not speak  
Anne continued “A long time ago he was my husband, my first husband and your father”  
Raoul could still not believe what he was hearing “But you told me… you told me you had no idea where he was or if he was still alive”  
“I didn’t” Anne answered simply  
“Does he know about me?” Raoul cried   
“He does now” Anne answered trying to seem calm   
“Only now? Why didn’t you tell him years ago?” He said angrily   
Anne feared that question “I…wanted to, when we came back to France, I wanted to but then he left and I never got the chance to tell him”  
“But you could have looked for him, you could have searched for him. He left but you could have done something! You did nothing, you let him go. You are a coward! You could have looked for him Mom! But you didn’t, did you?”  
“No I didn’t” Anne answered simply   
He stood up and cried “But why? He’s my father! I deserved to meet him, to know him! He’s my father!”

Anne tried to touch him, she wanted to reassure him, but he moved away “I know. I know, I’m sorry baby” she said, and she meant that. She felt sorry. She loved him and she never meant to hurt him, he was her precious son, her golden boy, she cared about him more than anyone else.  
She had never seen his son so angry “I don’t want to talk to you, not anymore!” he cried  
Anne called him “Raoul..”  
“Leave me alone” he said screaming, while he was leaving the room  
Anne needed to calm down as soon as possible, she needed to do that for him, for her son, she needed to, she knew that but at the same time she felt so lost and desperate in that moment.   
Her son had just left the room really angry at her and her son had just slammed the door screaming “Do not follow me! Don’t you dare!”

She wanted to follow him so badly and yet she decided to give him some space, she decided to wait, she decided to give him an advantage.  
She sat outside of her son’s room, she started crying in silent and after a while and once she had calmed down. She heard that her son was crying too and it broke her heart.  
She whispered softly, trying to calm him down “Raoul I’m here” she hesitated a moment and then continued “Raoul I’m here and I love you”

After a while Anne spoke again “Can I come in?” and her son whispered simply “Yes”

She saw her son crouched on his bed, he was shaking and she understood immediately that he had cried a lot, she sat next to him and she touched his arm.  
“Shh don’t cry. Everything will be alright sweetie” and doing so she kissed his forehead   
He nodded   
“Now shall we sleep, ok?”  
He nodded again and Anne hugged him   
“I’ll stay here until you you fall asleep, ok? Now relax, we’ll talk tomorrow”  
“Mom?” he asked hesitantly  
“Yes?” Anne asked still worried  
“I love you too” he said convinced. Anne smiled and started cuddling her little boy.

Two days after she had set everything up for the meeting between her husband and her child. Porthos had agreed to be present and she felt reassured by this, but still was very nervous, or even worse than that. She felt afraid and terrified, like she had never felt before.

This would have changed her life for good and she was not sure whether she or her son were ready for this change. And yet at the same time they had to deal with it and she knew that.

Raoul was very nervous and the truth was that Anne had no idea how to calm him down.  
“Little one, how are you?” she asked calmly but worried  
“I don’t know mom” he answered honestly   
Anne wanted to reassured him “It will be alright, Uncle Porthos will be there with you. If you feel uncomfortable you just have to tell him, ok? And I’ll come to pick you up in two hours, but if you need me I’ll be nearby”  
“Thank you mom”  
Anne nodded, smiling at him “Don’t be scared. You’ll enjoy meeting him”  
“What if doesn’t like me?” he asked worried   
“Oh sweetie he will like you. It’s impossible not to like you”  
“Mom I..” he still wasn’t convinced   
“No. Enough. You are my beautiful perfect boy and your father will adore you and you have nothing to worry about” Anne said resolute   
She hugged him and then said “Let’s go now. Let’s go to meet your father”  
Her son smiled at her “Yes” he said simply

Once they arrived at the Garrison Anne started looking anxiously for Athos and Porthos and then she saw them.   
They were talking together and laughing like years haven’t passed. Anne breathed heavily, they were so cute, she adored that scene. The moment they realized she was staring at them, both of them stopped. They calmly went towards her, towards her son. She couldn’t move.

Once they were close enough Anne and Athos looked each other speechless.

She had been the first breaking that silence “Hello” she said with a small smile on her lips  
“Hello” he replied also smiling

They just stayed there. For a moment the world stopped and it seemed like the time never passed. It seemed like they were still the young Comte and Comtesse with their little heir.   
But it was just one moment, then Anne returned to the reality a with a reassuring tone said “Athos, this is Raoul” and her son smiled too, then continued “Raoul this is your father”

Then she moved backwards in order to give them some privacy, in order to let them talk, to let them know one another.   
Porthos came by her side and whispered “Calm down”  
Anne breathed heavily and then looked at him in the eyes “I am calm, you are here with them”  
He nodded “I am, you can go. I’ll watch over them, as I promised”  
“Thank you. Thank you For everything” Anne said calmly with a smile on her lips.  
Porthos nodded, he nodded because he understood. Anne was saying thank you. Thank you for helping me when no-one else did, thank you for backing me, thank you for being by my side, thank you for being my friend, thank you for being my family, thank you for being a father-figure for my son, while Athos was away, thank you for everything.  
He understood and he smiled too and he happily said “You are welcome”

Anne walked away, hoping that all of this wasn’t a big mistake.


	10. I do care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can you fight?” Raoul asked curious  
> “I’m quite good with the sword, I’ve always been, even when I was the young Comte de la Fere” Athos replied calmly  
> “I am really good, Uncle Porthos has taught me a great deal, be careful I don’t show you how much” Raoul replied proud  
> He looked at his son surprised, that was such a Milady thing to say, he was so much her son  
> “Good then, show me” he said challenging him

“So… you are my father” the boy started hesitantly  
“Yes Raoul” he nodded  
“and the first husband of my mother”  
“Yes, I guess”  
“She always told me that you were the great love of her life, she always told me that the young Comte de la Fere had been the first person that valued her and her opinions” the boy said serious

Athos stopped breathing for a moment, he was genuinely surprised.  
He had imagined that Anne had told her son that he abandoned them, time and again, he imagined that the boy knew that he had left with another when he got the chance, or that he was violent to her or that he was a coward who had chosen his honor over his wife.  
He was almost speechless, his wife never told him the bad things about their relationship and about how badly it ended. She had saved him, she had saved him in the eyes of their son.

He thought again about his wife for a moment, the young and naive Anne de Breuil that for the first time in her life had found some peace just to loose it some time after… He thought about the last time she told him she loved him, when she screamed it, desperate after his death sentence. She screamed that “I love you” with all the despair she was feeling, all the pain, all the sadness, all the fear, but she meant it and now he knew. She did love him, she did love him with all her heart, because only the loss of one’s true love could have destroyed her the way she had been destroyed. He destroyed her, she destroyed him and yet they created someone so beautiful, kind and gentle as Raoul.

He smiled at his little son “The day I saw her for the first time it’s the day my life changed for good. She was captivating and both witty and pretty in the same measure. She was strong, courageous, generous a little crazy maybe. She was remarkable in every possible way and she inspired me, she was so much more than I deserved. She was… perfect in every possible way”  
Raoul nodded “My mom inspires me too. She is strong, witty and a great fighter. When I grow up I want to be like her”

Athos stared him silently, he was surprised by how deeply his son respected and admired his mother. He had a devotion towards her. It was admirable, it was clear that he loved her.

“And you were Captain of the King’s Musketeers, too” it was a statement not a question  
“Yes. I’ve also been the Captain of the King’s Musketeers, but the truth is that I never liked it that much, I wasn’t fit to be Captain, in fact I’ve always preferred being a simple soldier”

Raoul looked at him for a while without saying a word  
“Being Captain is an honor”  
Athos looked at him surprised, Anne had raised a little gentleman “Yes it is, but not everyone is apt for such a difficult task. I wan’t and I’m happy that D’Artagnan is the new Captain”

“I guess that we all have to exploit our natural talents”

Athos forgot how to breath in that moment.  
Anne had said the same things years ago.

Before Sylvie, before the war, before everything. She had said those things and then they kissed. He still could feel the taste of her on his mouth. She had took her locked in her hands coming close to him, too close, so close that he wanted to kiss her and she wanted to kiss him, he could see that and then eventually she had finally kissed him. Slowly at first and then deeply, fiercely, passionately. And he had answered that kiss, he had kissed her back, he had forgot about all that pain they caused each other. He had forgot because his wife was still alive, his wife was alive and well and was kissing him so for a moment he allowed himself to forget everything, it was just a moment but a precious one.

“Can you fight?” Raoul asked curious  
“I’m quite good with the sword, I’ve always been, even when I was the young Comte de la Fere” Athos replied calmly  
“I am really good, Uncle Porthos has taught me a great deal, be careful I don’t show you how much” Raoul replied proud  
He looked at his son surprised, that was such a Milady thing to say, he was so much her son  
“Good then, show me” he said challenging him

A couple of months went by like this. Athos and Raoul spent times together, fighting, riding houses, speaking about Athos’s past adventures.

Eventually Anne trusted her husband enough to leave their son to him without some else’s supervision and as expected eventually Raoul began to adore his father and loved spending time with him, so the two of them meet each other frequently.

Anyway Raoul never spent with both of his parents together and he wondered why.  
In addiction to this he noticed that his parents always avoided real conversations around him, they always talked about the weather, or their work or the future of France.

They constantly avoided anything personal and yet he could feel a constant tension between them, but not in a bad sense. No, it was different, it was something he could not completely understand, he felt like there was a bigger Game going on but he could not understand the rules, like it was a private Game between his parents. They always smiled at each other and sometimes they just stared at each other for ages without saying a single world. From time to time they made some references he didn’t understand and so after he asked about that to both of them, looking for an answer. Most of the times he did not get one, but when he did he could put together missing moments of his parent’s past and he liked this more than anything else.

He noticed something else in those months. He noticed that his mother had changed and he was incredibly surprised about it. She smiled more, she laughed more.  
When she told him something about his father she looked happy, really happy. He had never seen her like this before. For all his life, his mother almost refused to talk about his father. She talked about him only briefly, sometimes with a sad tone and despair in her eyes, sometimes with sad smiles reminding their youth, but now, now she felt hope again and he could see it. Now she talked about her past without without fearing it, she told him the good and the bad and when she talked about her husband she smiled or laughed most of the time.

His father, on the other hand, was always hesitant in telling him stories about the two of them but when he did, Raoul could see one thing in his eyes, admiration. He always told him how good she was, how strong she was, he told him that she was brave, that she saved his life, more than once, that she rescued Aramis one time and the Queen another. His father always told him that his mother was as witty as she was beautiful and in that declaration he could feel all his devotion.

Raoul did not meant to say that. He never meant to but one day he couldn’t help anymore and asked something he somehow knew shouldn’t have asked

“Do you love my mom?”  
Athos was hesitant “I..I don’t think we should talk about this”  
“Do you love my mom?” Raoul asked again  
Athos gave up and nodded “Of course I do”  
Raoul wasn’t still satisfied “What I mean is that…Are you still in love with her?”  
Athos answered honestly “I’ve never stopped”

Raoul smiled “And does she love you?”  
Athos was hesitant again “We shouldn’t talk about this Raoul”  
Raoul continued without hesitation “But you did love each other. She loved you, it’s true I know that!”  
She did, very much but…” Athos didn’t know how to go on  
“I think she does still” Raoul said triumphant  
“I don’t know Raoul, but I can promise you something. We both love you very much. We always will” Athos said calmly  
His boy smiled at him and answered simply “I love you too, Dad”

Athos was shocked. That was the first time his son called him “Dad”. The first time he told him he loved him and he was so happy that it did not know how to express his joy, his incredulity, his son loved him and he was speechless.

In that moment their dialogue was interrupted by a branch of recruits that run into the Garrison screaming excited “The Captain is back! Monsignor D’Artagnan and his companions are back from their mission! The Captain’s back”

Three hours later Athos brought his son to his wife’s house.

The little boy was so excited, he couldn’t stop talking about D’Artagnan’s return, he was so cute.  
Anne smiled at him “I know, little one. The Queen sent me a message”  
Then Anne look at her husband “In fact I have to ask you a favor Athos”  
“Anything Milady” he answered simply  
Anne smiled again “Would you mind to stay here with Raoul until my return?”  
“Not at all, Milady. I’ll stay here gladly”  
“But Mom! I’m not a child any longer! I can stay alone” he cried proud  
“Yeah but no. You’re still my baby” Anne said caressing his face  
“Uff… I can take care of myself Mom!” he cried again  
“Yes but make this favor to your mother, ok? And you can spend some extra time with your father…”  
He nodded “Well then, but to be clear…I’m doing this just for spending time with him, not because I need him” he said fierce  
“Ok, fine” And she smiled kissing his forehead  
Then she stood up and silently she moved towards the door and her husband followed her  
She turned before leaving for good “Thank you” she whispered  
“You’re welcome” he said smiling calmly  
She stood there some more moments, breathing heavily waiting for him to say something else and then he finally spoke “Will you be safe?”  
She smiled “You almost sound as though you care”  
“I do care” he said without hesitation  
“Good” she replied simply with a satisfied look in her eyes and a soft smile on her lips and then she left.


	11. With you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Something happened with the Queen? With D’Artagnan?” He asked anxiously  
> “No, no. Not with them” she whispered shaking her head  
> He came a step closer. He was so close to her, so close that she could feel him breathing  
> “With whom then?” he asked still don’t understanding  
> “With you” she whispered softly looking him in the eyes

Anne returned late that night, she had a long discussion with the Queen and D’Artagnan about the nation’s safety. The mission on England had gone good, a new alliance had been created and the throne of their infant King seemed more secure. Anyway the Spanish King had too many spies at the French Court, especially between French nobles and the matter had to be solved out.  
Anne arrived at the doorstep of her house. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, she was really tense and not just because of his job issues.

Once she entered her home, she barley noticed that Athos was sleeping on the couch, in fact her first instinct was to go and check on her son. Raoul was sleeping in his bed with a soft smile on his face, he looked so peaceful and content. She kissed his forehead.

Then she return to Athos. Her husband was also sleeping. Athos was on the couch, on her couch, his eyes closed, his expression relaxed.

She had never meant to love him, but she couldn’t help it. He fall in love with her, he respected her, and her opinions. He was passionate, gentle, sweet and handsome, oh yes he was so handsome and he cared for her, he valued her and the way he looked at her as though she was the most amazing treasure in the entire word. He had this power over her, this ability to make her knees weak with just a look, the ability to make her smile like a fool, to make her laugh for hours, to make her happy. She had fallen hard for him, she did not want that to happen, she tried to avoid that but she couldn’t prevent it in the end. She had stopped fighting it, she had accepted her feelings and then she had been happy, really happy. For a while.

She looked at him.

That view broke her heart, because that view made her feel sad and happy at the same time. That view showed her the life she could have had. The life she still wanted, maybe. A life with her family, her little, perfect, dysfunctional family, a life she never had, a life she didn’t have.

That view broke her heart, because her family was right there and yet distant a million miles. Was it possible to put everything back together? Was it possible for them to be happy again? That thought broke her because she never intended to think that things and yet she couldn’t help it.  
Without even realizing it she started crying, silently. Her tears felt down her face without any limit and she hated her for this, she did not want to, she hated to. She had spent so many years trying to make herself strong, untouchable, beyond any kind of emotion, and there here she was, crying silently for the life she never had with the man she had never stopped loving. Why did she always let him in? Why did she always allow herself to feel something for him? Why was she always willing to give him, give them, second chances?  
Athos was her weakness, Athos made her… vulnerable and she hated that feeling, she hated him and she hated herself.

Athos woke up and saw his wife, she was sitting on the entrance with her back on the door and her hands on her eyes. She seemed so tired and desperate.  
He stood up and gradually came closer to her “Anne are you alright?” he asked worried  
She suddenly stood up and took her tears away from her face. She tried to calm herself down, then with a trembling voice she said “Yes, I’m fine thank you”  
“Something happened with the Queen? With D’Artagnan?” He asked anxious  
“No, no. Not with them” she whispered shaking her head  
He came a step closer. He was so close to her, so close that she could feel him breathing  
“With whom then?” he asked still don’t understanding  
“With you” she whispered softly looking him in the eyes

With you. Those words hit him deeply. With you, he was the one causing all that trouble, he was the one making her cry, making her suffer. He thought that things between them were better now but evidently they weren’t, she was still hurt, she was still in pain and all of this because of him, it was all his fault. He had hurt her, time and again, he had abandoned her time and again. He had left her. More than once, he had let her suffer, he had made so many mistakes.

They stared at each other, loosing one an other into each other’s face.  
Pathos wanted to fix this, he needed to fix this “I’ll leave. You won’t have to see me any longer. I’ll leave, I promise. You won’t suffer because of me, I promise, not anymore. I’ll come for Raoul sometimes. Maybe some weekends, but you won’t have to see me, I promise. You’ll be free, you’ll be able start over”  
“That’s the point. Isn’t it? I don’t want to!” she exclaimed angrily  
“No, no, no, Anne, we can do this, ok? You suffer because of me, I can’t bear that. I prefer to live without you, than to see you and knowing that I’m the reason you are suffering I…”  
“You really don’t get. The problem is not that you are back. The problem is not that you are here, or that I can see you anytime. The problem is not that you are here and that you are staying. The problem is not that you are close, or that you being close make me feel vulnerable, or that you being close make me think about the life we never had, or about all that time we have lost. The problem…” she hesitated one second before continuing “The problem is that you are never close enough”

He looked at her speechless for what it seemed an eternity. Then he came even closer than he was before and put his hands on her ears, caressing her face, touching his forehead with hers “Anne” he whispered heavily, looking at her as if she were a vision, saying her name like it was a pray  
“Shut up” she said closing the distance between them.

Before he knew it, their lips were together, his hands holding her closer to him, her hands finding grip on his shoulder. She deepened the kiss and he open his mount to let her in. He was almost in a state of shock. His wife was kissing him. His wife was kissing him passionately and he suddenly understood that this was what he had been wanting all these years, the one thing he had hoped for, even when he thought she was dead. They moved slightly and Athos leaned her against the door. Their lips kept moving against each other’s, still looking for each other, still wanting each other.

Then Anne’s lips separated for one moment, demanding air. The two of them looked again in each other’s eyes. She saw everything, the love, the hate, the lust, the pain, the joy. She smiled, she smiled like Anne did and Athos has never felt more happy. He started kissing her neck,  
kissing her scars and she had a shiver, that gesture, made from him, looked like a reverent apology and she was feeling it, she was really feeling that he was sorry, she could really feel that he loved her still, that he never stopped in the first place. That gesture counted more than his words. She started moaning softly, she realized something in that moment, she had missed him, she had missed him so much, much more than she’ll ever admit.

They kept kissing, but at the same time they kept quiet enough to prevent anyone form hearing them. They were kissing fiercely, both of them trying to take charge of the kiss. Anne moaned again, that kiss was strange and yet at the same time familiar and perfectly normal.  
She felt like she had waited for that kiss for years and maybe she actually did, but now, now it was really happening. He was really there, he was really there with her and he was making her lightheaded.

She kissed him again, fiercely, passionately and then tenderly. She kissed Oliver and she kissed Athos and for the first time in years she found difficult to distinguish between the two of them, and she loved him, she loved Athos and she loved Oliver and all the pain that they caused to each other did not mean in that moment.

Athos had his wife back, maybe for just a second, but he could feel himself again, he loved Anne, he had always loved Anne and he had loved Milady, he had loved knowing part of her that she didn’t show before. He had his wife back and everything was perfect. He had never expected such a fortune in his life, he didn’t deserved it but against all odds fate had given them an other chance and this time he wouldn’t have wasted a single second.

He wanted her, he loved her, he always did and always will, she was right about this after all.  
Ans she…she just wanted him, she just loved him, now and forever, like she did in the past.

The past is never dead after all and apparently neither of them could forget the past.

She wanted more, she wanted to touch him, to have him, to kiss him, to take away his clothes. She wanted this so badly, like she had never wanted anything different, like she had been waiting for this moment her entire life and even if she wanted that so badly, she forced herself to stop.

“I think this is enough for now” she said separating from him  
“I…I’m sorry I guess I…”  
“No, don’t be”  
Anne caressed his face, looking at the man she had loved and hated so much in her life, he was there, right in front of her and he loved her, she could feel that.  
Anne breathed heavily and then continued “Our son is sleeping in this very same house I think…”  
“You said our son…” he whispered in disbelief  
“He is ours”  
He smiled, he had Anne back, he could see her so clearly right now, Anne, not Milady de Winter, Anne was right there, no matter how many years had gone by. Anne was still there, Oliver somehow was still there too.  
“Close your eyes”  
“What?” Anne looked at him confused  
“Anne, close your eyes” he said again gently and he took her hands. She closed her eyes and he moved her slightly away from the door. Then he stopped. 

He came closer to her ears and whispered softly “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you, I’m not abandoning you. You’ll never be alone in your life, I’ll stay, I’ll be by your side till the day of my death and maybe even after that. I’ll protect you and I’ll protect our child, and I’ll try to make you happy. This is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. I love him and I love you. I never stopped and never will. I love you Comtesse de la Fère. I love you Lady Clarik. I love you Charlotte Backson. I love you Madame de la Chapelle. I love you Milady de Winter. I love you Anne de Breuil. I’ll love you, no matter who you are, I love you. You were right, whatever you are, I love you. I loved you and I always will”  
He kissed her neck one last time “See you tomorrow, mon amour” and then he left. 

 

She heard his softs steps while he was leaving and she smiled, when she opened her eyes he had disappeared.


	12. I enjoy the view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athos is distracted and D'Artagnan notices that

“Athos? Are you with us?” D’Artagnan asked a little annoyed   
“Yes Captain” He said seeming secure, but the truth was that he wasn’t really paying attention. 

He couldn’t really focus on D’Artagnan’s instructions, he could only think about Anne.   
Anne’s face, Anne’s lips on his, Anne’s smile, Anne’s smile again. She had the most beautiful smile in the world. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t stop thinking about Anne. Anne. His wife, his wife who threaten to kill him some months before, the same one that kissed him fiercely just a few hours before. She wanted him, she wanted him and he had felt that and knowing that made him feel dizzy, like the young naive Comte that married her all those years before. He had forgot that Anne could have this kind of power over him and he liked that. He felt so young, so stupid and he liked that. He liked that because he had Anne back. He liked that because he had his wife back.

The Captain dismissed all the Musketeers and he was so distracted that barley noticed.  
“Athos? Have you listened to a single word I said?” D’Artagnan said pissed   
“Of course I did Captain, of course. The alliance with England is a success but it must be kept a secret for now, the Queen will announce it in a few day, then we have being assigned to the protection of the new English ambassador that will arrive in a few days just in time for the Queen’s announcement, shall I continue?” Athos said calmly  
“No, no but I still see something strange in you…” the Captain said shaking his head  
Porthos turned in their direction and came closer to them saying “Actually I think D’Artagnan is right… There is something strange in you mate”  
“Thank you dear friends, thank you very much” Athos said ironically   
Porthos continued hesitantly “You are… happy”  
“He’s not just happy. He’s smiling. He hadn’t stop the whole morning” D’Artagnan noticed  
“And this is wrong because…?” Athos said looking at them confused   
“This is not wrong, it’s just odd…” D’Artagnan pointed out  
“So very odd, like something happened to you…” Porthos said thoughtful   
“Nothing happened! You two could please mind your own business, please?” Athos said annoyed  
Porthos understood in that moment “Anne! Something happened with Anne. Am I right?” he said excited   
“Nothing happened with Anne. Oh my God she’s going to kill me if she finds out we are discussing this”  
D’Artagnan looked at his friends confused “Anne? Who’s Anne?”  
Porthos laughed softly “Anne, you have been working with her for years, brunette, witty, who’s married to Athos and oh now I recall you’ve also slept with her!”  
“Porthos!” Both D’Artagnan and Athos screamed at the same time

D’Artagnan still in shock said alarmed “But let’s go back to the main topic! Athos! What happened with your wife? Are you thinking of coming back with her? Are you out of your mind? Have you forgot? Who she is and what she did… She cannot be trusted!”  
“Com’on D’Artagnan, you are overreacting” Porthos said almost annoyed  
“I’m not!” the young Captain replied  
“You are” Porthos said with a serious look “She kidnapped my wife!” D’Artagnan cried  
“That was ages ago, even Costance got over that!” Porthos replied  
“Well I didn’t!” his friend said   
“Maybe you should! She constantly saved your ass in this last three years and she is the one reason you knew how to negotiate with the Englishmen. She’s one of us now, deal with it”  
“I don’t like her” D’Artagnan said harshly   
“Well Athos does” Porthos said with a amused smile on his lips  
“I’m still here guys” Athos said a little offended  
“Shut up!” Both his friends exclaimed  
Then the two of them continued their conversation   
“Athos shouldn’t go back with her. He feel he must for Raoul, I get that but… he shouldn’t. She hurts him, she hurts him every time she can, she could destroy him”  
“D’Artagnan stop it please!”

Athos left his two friends arguing, deciding that the best thing to do was to ignore them.  
Once he was out he breathed heavily, letting the cold air into his lungs. There was the sun and yet it was a cold day. Some new recruits were training and he immediately thought about the enthusiasm his son showed every-time he brought him at the Garrison. He smiled at that thought and he realized that he was really missing that little boy.  
Then he noticed something, he noticed a silhouette he once knew really well. He recognized it instantly, her body, her figure, her hair. She recognized that silhouette, that was his wife, his love. Then she turned and she saw him. They looked each other in the eyes and they started smiling. They stayed like that smiling at each other for what it seemed an eternity, then he went downstair and he came closer to her.

“Hello”  
“Hello”

She was so beautiful, her eyes were so peaceful and happy. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to kiss her so badly but at the same time he was trying to respect her wishes, to let her decide what to do and when to do it “Why are you here?” he asked  
“Oh don’t flatter yourself Athos, I’m not here for you”   
“I would never dare. So, if I may ask, why are you here?”  
“You may. I’m here to see the Captain, the little boy needs to be uploaded about the new English ambassador” Anne said with a mocking tone  
“And I guess you knew him”   
“I did. As the Duchess of Buckingham I knew everyone” she said reflective  
That confession made Athos fell angry again, not at her but at himself. He should have arrived early at the crossroads, he should have looked for her harder, he should have fought more. He let her go and he regretted that more than anything. He needed to make amends, he needed to make everything alright again.  
Athos knew he had to act, immediately “Do you have any plans for tonight?”  
She looked at him surprised “Nothing particular, why?”  
Athos smiled and said hesitantly “I was thinking I could bring you somewhere, I mean some place where we can have a talk, you know…”  
Anne did not understand “A talk? What do you want to talk about?”  
“Anne don’t try to rationalize everything. I want to bring you somewhere special so we can…”  
“Oh my God. You want to court me” she said in shock  
He nodded “I do”  
Anne still couldn’t fully understand “You didn’t the first time”  
“I did!” he said almost offended and she stared at him in the eyes, without saying a word, hoping that her look could speak for her  
He continued “Ok, well maybe and I say maybe, maybe not enough”  
Anne laughed “Not enough? This is the underestimation of the century! You courted me for what… two days? And then you proposed”  
“Are you laughing at me?” he said   
Anne shacked her head “I’m not, you were the sweetest, the kindest, the most passionate man I had the fortune to meet”  
He smiled at her, overwhelmed from that spontaneous declaration, then she continued smiling “But you were also so horny, you couldn’t wait to bed me, oh I mean to marry me”  
Athos laughed too “Oh I am the horny one now… I recall that you were the one that made impossible for the peasantries to work nearby our home, just saying”  
“How dare you! I just… suggested to have some walks outside, you did the rest” she said with a smirk  
“Oh only me?” he answered with fake ingenuity   
Anne had really missed him more than she had thought, more than she had admitted to herself “Ok, not only you, but you know what I mean…”  
“So I want to do it right this time, so please Anne, let me court you” he begged her  
“We are married” she said calmly   
He nodded trying to reassure her “We are, now and forever, I’d say until death do us apart, but we have defeated death so…”  
“So… we are married, with a child! There is no reason for you yo court me, it’s silly!”  
“Anne… don’t be offended” he said calmly   
She changed her tone “I’m not it’s just”  
“You are. Let me explain. You were right, again, no-one knows us as we know each other. You are the only one who really knows me, even the darkest side of me. And I know you, I know your soft side, the side that no-one else knows. When I say I want to court you, I don’t mean that we don’t know each other, I know we do, but maybe we could try to know each other better… Don’t you think?” he said hopeful   
Anne shacked her head “Ok. Fine! It’s absurd but I think I can agree on that”  
He smiled happily “Will you come with me then?”  
Anne laughed “Yes. I’m coming with you, as always”  
Athos smiled sincerely “Indeed you are” and saying that he took her hands in his and kissed them  
She felt she had just skipped one beat, she wanted to hide it and yet she couldn’t.   
She wanted to control herself, to control what she was feeling and yet she couldn’t.   
She wanted to hide that she was trembling and yet she couldn’t.  
Anne needed to leave, that situation made her feel vulnerable and exposed

“I hate to go, the Captain’s waiting for me”  
“I know”   
“So let me go” she begged him  
“Never again”   
“Oliver, let me go” she said seriously but with a beautiful smile on her lips  
“Just one more moment Anne”  
“Why?” she said with a soft smile    
“I enjoy the view”   
They looked each other in the eyes and it seems like the time stops around them, it seems like nothing else had ever matter or could ever matter.


	13. You don't have to say anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why not? My parents are going out” he said laughing   
> She couldn’t help but smiling. She did not want to, she wanted to stop it, but she just kept smiling  
> “Yes we are going out, but don’t make it a great deal, darling. We are just two old friends and colleagues that go out one night. You should keep your expectation low. Keep calm, ok?”  
> “You two are going out, together, you two alone, you can’t stop smiling but I am the one that must keep calm” he pointed out

Anne, against her best judgement, spent the whole day thinking about her encounter with Athos.  
He wanted to court her, to court her. She found that idea silly and with no purpose and yet at the same time it made her feel dizzy. He wanted to court her, to spend time with her, to know her again. He wanted her, she really felt wanted, for the first time in years, she felt wanted.  
She had missed him so much, much more than she had even admitted to herself.   
She had really missed him, Athos, her husband, her lover, her friend, her confident, her enemy.

She touched her lips for one second. The thought of the previous night made her smile.   
She had kissed him, he had kissed her back and she had loved that, she had adored that.

She had almost lost control and she had loved that, she had felt good, so good, so alive, like she hadn’t felt in years. She did not care any longer, she did not care if it was right or wrong, she did not care about what she should have done, she only cared about was what she wanted. And she wanted him, she had always wanted him, she had wanted him even when she wanted to kill him. The truth was that her love for him never disappeared, even after her execution, even when she was driven by revenge, even when she thought she had killed him. For all those dark years she had been looking for him, she had been searching for him, even if she didn’t realize that. In every man she had kissed, in every man she had killed, in every man she had threatened, in every man she had spoken to, she had been looking for him. She was never over him, she probably never would have been. And Raoul was a kindly reminder of that.

Raoul and Anne left their home to go to Porthos’s and Elodie’s place, since they had so kindly offered to watch over and guest Raoul, while she was “busy” with Athos. Elodie has emphasized the word “busy”, sometimes she hated how her friend loved discussing her private life, her feeling. And there was nothing she hated more that discussing her feelings, especially her feelings for Athos.

Raoul looked at his mother “Why do I have to go to Elodie’s and Porthos’s place?”   
Anne smiled at him patiently “I’ve told you. I’m going out tonight”  
“But I could stay at home alone!” he replied proudly   
“Not yet, you are still too young” she said calmly  
“I am not!” he exclaimed   
“Do this for your mother, can you?” she begged him  
“Yes, I can” he nodded  
“Good boy” she said kissing his forehead  
Raoul smiled “Are you working tonight? What do you have to do?”  
“No, no I’m not working. I go out with your father” Anne said looking away  
“Really?” he said excited  
“Don’t get too excited” she warned him  
“Why not? My parents are going out” he said laughing   
She couldn’t help but smiling. She did not want to, she wanted to stop it, but she just kept smiling  
“Yes we are going out, but don’t make it a great deal, darling. We are just two old friends and colleagues that go out one night. You should keep your expectation low. Keep calm, ok?”  
“You two are going out, together, you two alone, you can’t stop smiling but I am the one that must keep calm” he pointed out   
“You are wicked sometimes, you know?” she said with a smirk   
“I know” he said proudly   
Anne continued “Be good with Uncle Porthos and Aunt Elodie and especially with Marie Cesette”  
Raoul became serious “I like her but she is so little, she can be annoying sometimes”  
Anne looked at him “Raoul. She is younger, you have to be nice”  
“I know, I will, I promise. After all maybe I should practice in case you and dad come back together…”  
“Raoul!”  
“It’s a possibility… I would like to have a sister!”  
“Raoul…”   
“Yes I stop now, I’ll be good with Marie Cesette, I promise”  
Anne smiled looking at his beautiful boy.

Once they arrived at Porthos’s and Elodie’s place, Anne knocked and Elodie opened the door  
“Hello Anne!” she greeted her and then they hugged  
Then Elodie looked at her son “And hello Raoul! Marie Cesette is in her room, you can go and play with her” and Raoul smiled and left

Elodie looked at her friend “Anne, I’m drinking a tea, would you like to join me?”  
Anne smiled softly “I’d love to, but I have to go”   
Elodie smiled laughing “Oh no. You don’t have to go, not if you want to know some details about your romantic encounter…”  
Anne looked at her shocked “You! You know something! Tell me, because I have no idea how to dress, this thing is driving me insane, I feel like a stupid teenager girl, which I never was and this whole situation is… silly, my husband wants to court me and I have no idea how to behave. Oh my God I think I’m crazy” she put her hands before her mouth  
Elodie smiled again looking at her “You are cute Anne. I’ve never seen you like this”  
Anne was almost offended “I’m not cute. I’ve never done it! I don’t know what to do, I’m lost and it’s Athos and I…He confuses me. Oh my God…I hate him!”   
“No you don’t! That’s too funny” she said laughing “I’ve seen you threatening one of the most dangerous spy in Europe without even trembling a little in your voice, I’ve seen you fighting with men double your size and you never was nervous. I’ve seen you killing without hesitation, if needed and yet here you are, terrified because your husband wants to court you, that’s funny”  
“It’s Athos…” Anne said hesitantly   
“Yes, you’ve mentioned that” Elodie said laughing again, leaving in order to prepare a cup of tea for Anne  
“Stop it! Please” Anne exclaimed   
“Nope” her friend replied, coming back with a cup of tea for her  
Then Anne continued “So… you told me you knew something about .. tonight?”  
Elodie wanted to keep the tension “Mmm…Yes…I might have over-heard something…”  
“So? Do you expect me to beg?” she said anxiously   
“No but I like the power I’ve got!”   
“Elodie please! It’s already embarrassing enough!” and saying so Anne put her hands on her face  
“Anne you need to relax, you really do” Elodie said caressing her arm  
“Yeah, yeah but how??” Anne said visibly nervous   
Elodie smiled at her, trying to reassure her “Just breath for now and wear something elegant tonight”  
Anne tried to get some more info “Something like… a dress?” she said hesitantly  
“Yes something like that” she nodded   
“Is there something else you’d mind to share?” Anne insisted   
“Nope”  “But you do know something else, Elodie…” Anne said looking her in the eyes   
“I do. But it must be kept a surprise and trust me, you’ll adore it” and saying that she looked at her with a charming face  
“I hate you!” Anne said, while Elodie started laughing

Anne spent the rest of the evening trying to understand what she was supposed to wear.   
She was incredibly anxious, more than she had ever expected to and this made her furious.   
She didn’t want him to have such a power over her, that made her angry and vulnerably and that was unacceptable, and yet she couldn’t help it.

In the end she opted for an elegant, but simple, light blue dress that it had been embellished in silver.

He knocked at her door at eight, as expected

“Hey” she said looking at him  
“Hey” he replied smiling “you are… perfect”  
“You are not that bad either” she replied smiling. And he wasn’t. He really wasn’t.   
She looked at him for a moment. He still looked so good. He wasn’t young anymore, he had more scars and more muscles, but he still look so handsome. His eyes were still bright, blue and wide, and he still looked at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. She looked into Athos’s eyes and she saw Oliver, again. She saw Oliver and for a moment she wondered whether he was real or just an hallucination, a ghost from her past. But he was real and he was there, standing right in front of her, smiling at her. He was so elegant, so beautiful.

“Shall we go?” he said, offering her arm  
“As you wish” she replied smiling

Athos helped her entering into the carriage and they started to stare each other.  
They stayed like this, looking in each other eyes, just admiring each other.

“Blue” he whispered   
“Blue, so you can never forget me”  
“As if it was possible”

They both smiled, again, Anne felt like she was not more capable of doing anything different

“Is it your favorite color?” Athos asked   
Anne thought about it for a moment “No. But it reminds me of a good period of my life”

Athos almost lost a breath, then he continued “So… what’s your favorite color?”  
“Are we really doing this?” Anne said laughing   
“Of course we are” Athos replied smiling charming  
“Mmm… I guess is red”   
“Like blood” he noticed   
“Yes… It’s a strong color, it shows determination, it shows passion. It’s what I needed to keep on…”

Anne decided to play this Game “and yours?”  
Athos was hesitantly “I don’t know. I… never thought about, but probably blue”  
“Blue?” Anne exclaimed   
“It reminded me of you” he answered seriously

Anne smiled again “So…” Anne initiate “Do you mind telling me where are we going?” she asked nervously   
Her husband simply smiled and gave her something. She took it and she looked at it speechless  
“What it is this?” she whispered  
“It’s what it seems” he replied secure   
“You…” Anne was genuinely surprised “You… you are taking me to a Masquerade…” she said in disbelief   
“I am” he nodded  
“You. To a masquerade. No way! You hate this kind of public occasion. I always had to beg you! I had to beg you!” she exclaimed   
“I know, I know but it doesn’t matter. You love them so I gladly bring you there”  
“I… I don’t know what to say..I…” Anne said shocked

Anne knew her husband feared this kind of social events more than anything.   
He was always so clumsy and he definitely hated to dance. On the contrary she adored the balls, the music, the fine dresses and… well… receiving the attentions of every male person in the room. She loved to draw everyone’s attention but what she loved the most was seeing her husband jealous, she loved playing with him, forcing him to admit his feelings once again, even if they already were so obvious. She wanted to feel wanted, she wanted to fell admired, she wanted to be loved and more than anything else she wanted him.

“You don’t have to say anything”


	14. The joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to forget and to forgive, Athos, I want to, but this does not mean…” she couldn’t go on   
> “I know” he nodded

The carriage stopped and Athos helped his wife to get off.  
Anne looked at him hesitantly “So… what names are we gonna use?”  
“Mmm…ours?” Athos said with a small smile  
“Ours? Darling, do you realize that I’m a spy, who works for her majesty the Queen, right?” Anne said looking at him with mistrust in her eyes  
He nodded, then with a smirk he said “Oh I do. But you don’t need to worry about that, I may or may not have ask Aramis’s help to set everything up, so relax Anne, you have just have to think about having fun today”  
“Wait, what? Aramis? Does he … approve, mmm, us?” She said hesitantly   
“He doesn’t, but it’s none of his business and he can’t judge me on this kind of matters”   
“Fair enough” Anne nodded  
“Anne…”   
She turned and looked him in the eyes “… Yes?”   
“Did you actually said… us?” Athos said smiling   
“You. Idiot. Shut up!” she cried hitting him  
He kissed the top of her head smiling and then he whispered to her ears “Just to be clear, with ours names, I meant the Comte and the Comtesse de la Ferè”   
“Mmm.. that’s interesting. I haven’t used that name in years” Anne said laughing but with a serious look   
“Well…maybe it’s about time that… we start to… use them again, don’t you think?” he said joking but with a light in his eyes  
“Maybe” she said smiling at him

Without even looking at each other they held their hands and against all odds they didn’t find that awkward at all. It seemed familiar, it seemed home, it seemed safe.

A few seconds later a valet asked them about their names and Athos answered proudly “Oliver d’Athos, Comte de la Fere and his wife, Anne”   
“It’s a pleasure to have you here” the valet replied

They entered the main room and Anne felt excited like a baby on christmas’s eve. She looked around and she couldn’t stop smiling, she hadn’t felt so happy in years.

Anne looked around, everything was perfect, the lights, the music, the decorations   
“That’s amazing, I…”   
“You’re so beautiful Anne” Athos replied genuinely and his Anne smiled again, looking at him in the eyes “Shall we dance?” she proposed enthusiastically   
“With pleasure!” he said bowing to her  
“That’s too funny” Anne said laughing

They put themselves in two opposite lines, standing one in front of the other.

Their eyes met and then the music started. They looked each other in the eyes one more time as he stretched his hands out towards her and she slowly touched her fingertips to his.

She was looking at him in the eyes insistently, waiting for him to pull her closer, to hold her tight. They started moving and Anne was speechless, he held her waist and his touch had the power to make her dizzy, that touch, which was both familiar and comfortable, that touch had the power of destroying her, again. He lead and for that time, she let him. She let him lead, she let him choose, she let him to control her. She enjoyed that game, she enjoyed seeing that he was taking care of her, she really enjoyed that game, it felt so good, so incredibly good.

She wanted to close once again the distance between them, she wanted to kiss him, to keep him close, to have him, to feel him. Or at least that’s what she wanted at the beginning.   
But as the music continued and they both kept dancing, she noticed something that surprised her. Her husband was good at dancing, he really was good. Athos remembered every steps even though it had been years, he remembered every step and he had even improved a lot.

He had improved a lot, he was less clumsy and more secure, he was moving more elegantly and every woman in the room was looking at him, every woman in the room was captivated by him. And that made her feel really angry.

He was hers. He was her husband and they had no right of looking at him.   
He belonged to her, he was bound to her, he was married to her.  
He was hers and yet he was moving better than her husband used to and that was the only thing she could think about.

Athos was good, he was really good at dancing and all she could think was about with whom he had learned that. Images of his happy life with his mistress run through her mind and that images made her feel sick.

Once the dance was over, Anne turned with the intention of leaving the room “I have to go” she said without even looking at him in the eyes  
“What… What’s happening?” he whispered confused   
“I… have to go, now” and she disappeared, taking her mask off   
Athos looked at her speechless and after a moment he followed her outside. After some minutes he found her in the garden. She was sitting near the fountain and was not feeling well, anyone would have noticed that.  
“Anne…Anne…” he whispered and at the same time she turned and looked at him with a glare that could have killed   
“Anne” and he repeated again sitting next to her. She didn’t answered and he touched her arm quietly and caressed her slowly “Anne…”   
“Leave me alone” she said slowly but angrily   
“Did I do something wrong?” Athos said hesitantly   
“No” Anne said taking her tears away from her face   
“Anne…”   
Then she finally spoke, and with a broken voice she said “When did you learn?”  
“What?” Athos looked at her confused  
“When did you learn?” she screamed   
Athos looked at her silently for some seconds and then he slowly said “I really don’t know what are you talking about…”  
“When did you learn to dance like that?” Anne cried angrily   
Athos looked at her confused “I don’t understand, I…”   
“Did you learn for her? With her? Was she worthy while I wasn’t? Like she was worthy of being saved, while you had to condemn me to death!” She did not cry, she was about to but she resisted   
“Anne, stop it” he said gently   
“I can’t!” she cried

Athos touched her shoulder caressing it “Anne, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t save you. If I could go back and change everything I would, if I could … erase all the pain that I’ve caused you, I would but I can’t” Athos waited a further second and then went on “I regretted that choice everyday of my life, I… never let a single day go without thinking about you, without wishing I didn’t break my promise” She was listening now “Go on”   
He nodded thankfully “When I found out you were alive…”   
“When I burned our home” Anne said sadly   
“You resurrected me that day” Athos said firmly   
“I tried to kill you that day” Anne replied   
“No you didn’t, you saved me. In those awful 5 years I’ve spent believing you dead, those years of agonizing self-contempt, burning anger and paralyzing guilt… I did not live. My sorrow broke me every day anew and trying to forget about you was… impossible, unthinkable, I held to every moment, every memory, every hug, every kiss, every smile, every walk, every happy moment we had together. I never really wanted to let go. 5 years learning how to live in a world without you and yet… I didn’t learn, I never wanted to learn. I was miserable and being miserable is what kept me closer to you. To your memory” Athos made a further pause and saw that his wife was silent now, looking at him in the eyes, then he continued “I watched our house burn, the flames destroying everything and I knew I failed”  
“You failed?”  
“I broke my oath and condemned you to death. I’ve clung to the belief that I had no choice and yet, I had every choice. And I chose wrong. I failed you, you loved me, you wanted me to save you and I didn’t. But you know what? I was watching our house burning and all I could think about was you. Beneath all the pain, and the horror and the guilt and the anger and the shock I… I was relieved, the joy I felt..”

“The joy…” she repeated trembling and doubtful   
He nodded “Yes, the joy I felt was so… fierce. It was so fierce that it made me weep. Anne you were alive, that was the only thing that mattered. The only thing that mattered that day was that the love of my life was still breathing and I started to breath again too. Anne you saved me that day, you resurrected me” Athos breathed a moment and then continued “This has nothing to do with Sylvie. You have nothing to do with her. Anne… you are my wife, the love of my life, the mother of my son. She was… a distraction and what I did, leaving with her…it wasn’t fair to you, it wasn’t fait to her too”

Anne held back the tears “The… fury with which you protected her, the passion with which you protected Ninon too… I wish you did that with me”   
Athos looked at her, feeling all her pain “I’m so, so sorry. I wish that too” he waited some seconds more and he said “Anne, I love you. I love only you. I’ve loved only you, my whole life I loved only you. I chose you and I’m choosing you now, I’ll always choose you”   
“You choose me and then you choose her over me” Anne said calmly but with a sad tone  
“I didn’t. I didn’t choose her, I chose to run away from you, choosing her had only to do with you”   
“What?” Anne cried confused   
“I’ve told you. I didn’t run away with her, I run away from you. I’ve been a coward. And I’m sorry”

Anne nodded “I know” and saying so she hugged him and he pulled her closer tightening her.   
That hug was so familiar, against all odds, being in his arms made her feel so secure.  
Athos whispered to her right ear “and regarding my improved dancing skills, I might have asked Elodie to help me” In that moment Anne laughed and separated from him “You’re trying” she said “and I overreacted”   
Athos took her hands into his “It’s ok Anne, I understand”

She looked at him in the eyes.   
She hated showing herself like this, she hated to feel like this, like a sentimental, weak, little girl.

“I want to forget and to forgive, Athos, I want to, but this does not mean…” she couldn’t go on   
“I know” he nodded   
Anne stood up and said “Shall we go back inside?”   
“As you wish” he answered smiling   
“Oh I wish it, you own me an entire evening of dancing” she said with a smirk  
“Of course Milady”


	15. Maybe two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porthos, Anne and Athos work together and have fun

Three months later Elodie delivered an healthy baby boy, who was the living image of his father. Porthos was visibly emotional and Marie Cezette adored her baby brother. The happy couple had decided to name him Jean Louis after their fathers, or better in Porthos’s case it was after Treville, the only father-figure he had had in his life.

The two of them were terribly happy and in love and Anne found them even more annoying than Constance and D’Artagnan were after the Captain’s return, but anyway she almost liked how annoying they were, how optimistic and excited and in love they were. They almost reminded her of herself and Oliver, when they were younger and free, when they had all their life ahed them, when she used to smile all the time, when he couldn’t prevent himself from touching, caressing and kissing her every minute of the day, it seemed another life now.

The political situation was still at stake, the Spanish spies were still infiltrated in the capital.   
Anne had found out that their King’s plan was to murder his sister, the Queen Regent, in order to became regent himself, Royals had such a strange sense of family.   
The Queen Regent and his beloved Minister were more nervous every day and Anne was always busy with her espionage and well…with Athos.

Her husband had continued his courtship, which she found incredibly funny.   
He kept asking her if she would like to do things with him and he always was nice, almost sweet. He was trying and she knew that but at the same time she couldn’t understand what he really wanted from this courtship or what she really wanted. They restarted working together too and she liked it more than she had expected to. It had become kind of an habit, the two of them together at work, the two of them together at the tavern, the two of them together in the streets of Paris, the two of them at Anne’s home. Oh well…the three of them at Anne’s place, because he and Raoul loved to cook for her, which she found a little silly and stupid and yet at the same time incredibly cute. The two of them strongly believed that they were great at cooking and Anne had to pretend that they actually were but she didn’t mind, she was happy and she didn’t mind.  
Her boys were so cute when they were together and she adored that.   
She was happy and she was really starting to adjust to the new reality.

Athos. Athos, her husband, was back. He was really back. He was back and he wanted to be in her life again, in her son’s life too. He wanted him and he wanted her. He was courting her, he was trying to make everything alright and she knew it, she felt that. Despite this she did not manage to really let him in. She wanted to, she wanted to so badly and yet she didn’t manage to let him in.   
Except for that night, months before, when she had kissed him, the night she had lost control overwhelmed by too many emotions and that time she had wanted it, she had wanted him. But it was just one moment, just one night because in following months she never had the courage of acting on it and he never dared to.

So they went out together, they spent time together and they worked together, too. And she liked that, she liked having him around, she liked that more than she had expected, more than she wanted, more than she had admitted to herself.

She had a meeting with him that afternoon, a work meeting to be clear.  
In order to accomplish the mission she needed someone willing to play the part of her caring husband and Athos had kindly offered to play that part, which she had found incredibly awkward and yet at the same time funny.

They were supposed to meet at the market and Athos noticed her long before she could notice him. He came closer and once he arrived behind her he spoke softly “You promised to kill me, and yet here I am, still alive” she smiled and she tuned her head recognizing that line “Still stealing my lines, I see” Athos smirked “I..” but Anne didn’t let him continue “I did not promise, I just… threaten to kill you, but that threat could still be valid if you wish so” she said touching his chin.  
He thought about it for a moment “No, I don’t. I don’t have any desire of death, not anymore”  
“What do you mean by not anymore?” she said surprised   
“I can’t die now, not now that I’ve found a reason to live” he said caressing her face   
“A reason?”   
“Maybe two”

They stared at each other in silent for an endless moment then she decided to change the subject

“Shall we go? Work is waiting for us” Anne said nervously   
“Of course, anything for the good of France” Athos said with a mockery tone

Anne laughed a little, now she was the patriotic between them, now she was playing his side, the whole situation was surreal.

“Shall we talk about the plan a little?” Anne said trying to avoid any kind of personal talk  
“Of course”  
“It should be really easy, don’t worry about it. I go to the tavern first, Porthos is already there. I will flirt with him, then you enter and you play the part of the jealous husband, you two fight, create a diversion and I do the whole job”  
“Which consists in…?”  
“In taking the letters the General De Vegas has and substituting them with some fake ones”  
“I see…”

Once they arrived at the tavern Anne entered, while Athos waited outside. Athos partly hated that part because he actually was jealous of Porthos, not in a romantic sense, but he was jealous of him, of the relationship he had developed with both his wife and his child. But he had no right to be and he knew it, he was not there for them when they needed him, while Porthos was. He had left her, he had abandoned her and Porthos stayed. Porthos had helped her raising her child, he had been by her side when she needed a friend, a confident, someone to cry over. And where was he back then? Away, away with his mistress, living a miserable life thinking about Anne every waking second and dreaming about her every night. And after that he had spent two years traveling around France, trying to forget all the pain he had felt and caused, especially to her.

Eventually he entered the tavern. He looked for her and then she saw her, Anne was sitting on Porthos’s knees and she was whispering something in his ear. That imagine hurt him. He knew that it was all an act and yet it made her feel so devastated. Anne laughed softly.  
“Anne!” he screamed without even realizing he had   
She turned in his direction and looked at him with a bored face “Oh…It’s Athos…”  
“I’ve been looking for you in…” he screamed angrily coming closer  
“Well here I am, so relax now” she said with a challenging tone  
“You come with me, now!” He said taking her arm  
“No, I don’t think so”   
“Yeah mate, she stays with me” Porthos said moving her closer to him  
Athos ignored him “You are MY wife!”  
Anne laughed mocking him “Oh really? And you remember it only now??? I am your wife only when it suits you” she said separating from Porthos and standing up   
“You are my wife, you will always be my wife!” He cried   
Anne hated to have him this close, when he was this closed she always felt the need to kiss him and even in that moment during the act she wanted to and yet she had to play her part, so with a broken voice she continued “You made your choice a long time ago, now you have to deal with the consequences my dear”  
“You’re right, I made my choice, I chose you!” he screamed   
Anne needed to remind herself that this was all an act and it didn’t really regard them, she turned towards Porthos “Darling we are leaving, now”  
He stood up too and Athos screamed taking her pulse “Don’t you dare!”  
Porthos turned towards him “She is mine now, mate, deal with that!”

In that moment Athos hit him and the two of them started a fight.   
They had everyone’s attention, literally every person in the tavern was looking at them, no-one really cared about Anne anymore. People cheered them and laughed for that fight and so Anne managed to reach the target without being noticed and complaining about the two of them and crying hysterically she managed to accomplish the mission.

Once she had finished, Anne looked at the two of them. She almost enjoyed the situation but then she realized that they needed to leave as soon as possible. Porthos looked her and she nodded so that he knew that the mission had been accomplished. 

Porthos stood up “Fine mate, you can keep her if you want. I’m out!”  
Athos stood up, too and Anne looked at him. He was sweaty and was loosing some blood from his inferior lip. Anne found him so incredibly attractive, he was a beautiful soldier, a beautiful fighter, so wild, so awesome, so sexy.  
“Have you heard? Come with me, wife!” Athos said annoyed   
Anne smirked “In your dreams” and saying so she went out of the tavern and Athos followed her.  
Some minutes later they met with Porthos in the prearranged alley.  
Anne and Porthos looked at each other and started laughing. At the same time Athos looked at them speechless “Did the two of you really liked that?” he said surprised   
“Yes” they both said laughing   
Once they calmed down Anne looked at Porthos “How are you?” she said worried   
“Don’t worry Anne! I’ve been worse” he replied to her   
then she looked at her husband “And you?”  
Athos appreciate her concerns “Fine, you don’t need to worry about me, he is the one who lost the fight” he said arrogant   
“Always flattering yourself I see, Athos”  
“Always”   
Athos and Anne looked at each other for some seconds and Porthos felt the third wheel “And you Anne? Everything has gone… good?”  
Anne interrupted the contact with her husband’s eyes and turned towards his friend “Yes, everything fine, but I must go to the Palace now…”  
Porthos interrupted her “No, don’t. I must go anyway I can deliver them for you”  
“Oh, thank you but there is no need for that” Anne replied seriously   
“I insist, give them to me and enjoy the rest of the evening Anne” hearing that words embarrassed her and she blushed a little like a young girl, then she stayed silent for a moment and finally almost reluctantly she gave him the letters   
“Thank you”  
“You are welcome”

Once Porthos had left, Athos tried to look Anne in the eyes, while she tried to avoid him   
“What did Porthos mean by enjoy the rest of the evening?”  
“He meant…” Anne felt uncomfortable “Raoul is out tonight so I…I don’t really have, you know…”  
Athos stared at her for one second and Anne continued “I don’t have to go straight back home”  
“I see” her husband replied and after a moment he continued “So… Can I bring you out?”  
Anne smiled “You may”


	16. Oliver and Anne

They started walking side by side, silently, maybe a little embarrassed, then suddenly Anne looked at him “Athos…”  
He stopped and turned in her direction “Yes..?”  
“I…”  
Then something unexpected happened, it started raining, heavily. She tried to repair herself in the first few seconds but then realize there were nothing she could do and she started laughing   
“You know what husband? Nothing like this ever happened when I was in England”  
Athos laughed too “Yes but I was right about the food, wasn’t I?”  
Anne nodded “You were” then she closed her eyes  
“Something wrong?”  
“I can’t walk”  
“What?”  
“I… my shoes are not really fit to be in the wet mud”

In that moment he looked at her and his strong arms wrapped around her body.  
Anne got alarmed “What? What are you doing?” she was so surprised that she couldn’t say anything more and in that moment Athos looked at her “I think it’s obvious darling”   
After some seconds of shock she wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her away.   
It was strange to be so close to him again, to be so physically close, to hear his breaths, to hear his heart beating. After a couple of minutes he spoke to her again “Don’t worry, Anne, we are near my place” She nodded slightly and without saying a single world she wrapped her arms more tight. In that moment Anne felt as if she were still the young Anne de Breuil who married the young Oliver d’Athos Comte de la Fère.  
“Oliver…” she whispered softly   
“Shh, we are almost there” he replied gently to her

Once they entered his place, Athos put her down, both of them were incredibly wet.   
Anne started sneezing and Athos looked at her worried “You should take off your clothes” and saying so he lighten the fire. She turned in his directions “Excuse me?” Anne said almost embarrassed. Athos smiled gently at her “Relax, wife. You need clean clothes, you can find some in the trunk, I’ll go in the other room and wait a second…” after a minute he came back with a small jerry can full of water “Here, so you can clean from the mud”

Anne nodded slightly and felt so stupid in that moment. She knew there was no reason to feel so uncomfortable, she knew that and yet she was acting like a stupid girl, which she wasn’t. Her husband left again and she felt almost sorry about it, seeing him leaving almost broke her again, even if she didn’t realize why.

She stopped that thought and she changed her clothes, putting on a shirt, which was twice her size and a pair of pants, these too definitely too big for her. Then she let her hair down, which were still extremely wet and in that moment she looked at the window, the rain was still falling heavily and she was in Athos’s room, where she had never expected to be again.

Ten minutes later he was still gone and therefore she started looking around. She didn’t want to, she thought it wasn’t her place but at the same time she couldn’t help, because she felt she had any right to do so, he was her husband after all. At some point she noticed something on his desk, it was a small red container and she opened it. She didn’t thought about it, she did not thought at all, she just acted. A moment later she regretted that choice, she shouldn’t have done it, she wasn’t ready for what she found.

“Athos?” she whispered terrified and so he suddenly sneaked back on her and called her worried “Anne?”   
She turned in his direction “This is…” she couldn’t continue “This…” she said once again hesitantly   
Athos looked at her and noticed what she was holding in her left hand and finally he realized what that was. He did not even thought about it, he did not thought that Anne would have found it.  
“Your locket, yes” he finished for her   
“I… I though you…” Anne looked at him confused   
“I dropped it, yes, but then I returned there 10 minutes later, I couldn’t give up on the locket”  
“Why?” she said with a trembling voice  
“It was the only thing I had that… reminded me of us”  
“You never… you never wore it again”  
“I…I didn’t want the others to know”  
“To know what?”  
“That I still loved you, that I never stopped loving you…”  
“You kept it, after everything you kept it…”   
“Yes, I brought it with me in Spain, I told myself everyday that I would have seen you again and that…that was the guiding light that kept me going”  
“You…you never came to England, Oliver” Anne said with a broken voice  
“I thought you were dead”   
“What?” she exclaimed   
“I asked the French ambassador to look for you” he said sadly   
“You did what?” Anne cried anxiously   
“I asked him to look for you, I asked him to use his spies to find you and he didn’t succeed and so…and so I thought you were dead”   
“I was right there, I knew the French ambassador! I was right there!” she cried out desperate  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I should have come in person”   
“Yes, you should have” she said hurt   
“Anne…”  
“You could have come for me, you could have come for me but you didn’t. You could have been there, you could have raised Raoul with me! We could have been together! We could have been a family!”  
“Anne…”  
“This would have changed everything, this…”  
“I know Anne, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry”  
“Anne…” he said coming closer to her, while she was staying silent with her locket in her hands  
She started crying silently, tears fell on her face copiously and her husband felt so helpless whispering her name once again “Anne…”  
And then Anne whispered something he did not expect “I love you”

Athos lost a beat, she had just said that she loved him, him. The last time she had said that it was at her trial, but ages had gone by and he was shocked to hear that again “You…you just said…You…” he was so confused in that moment.   
“I meant that. I love you, Oliver, I always did, and always will. I never meant to fall for you but I couldn’t help and then…then I didn’t stop. You tried to kill me, I tried to kill you and I didn’t stop, I love you!” Anne looked so vulnerable, so young, so emotional. So beautiful.

He kissed her then.

He pulled her closer and kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to take the control of the kiss, without any success, at the beginning at least. He continued to kiss her and crushed her against the wall, suddenly, passionately, almost violently and she liked that, she was feeling his body against hers, with his body covering hers and she liked that.

He was trembling, his knees were weak and he felt insecure, so insecure. Anne loved him, Anne loved him and now they were kissing and he asked himself why he had waited so long, why he had wasted so much time. He should have gone to England, he should have arrived in time at the crossroads, he should have believed her years before instead of sentencing her to death. But now he had no intentions of letting her go, never again.

He pulled her closer but in that moment Anne surprised him and took control of the situation, becoming the one that was pulling him against the wall, the one that was in control of the kiss.

She should have known. She should have known that this was coming.

She and Athos could never really exist without each other, despite all the pain they had caused each other, the attraction they felt never really disappeared. The love, the desire, the lust, the need they had for each other was still there somehow.

She stopped him, taking his head in her hands “Promise me” she said firmly and Athos looked at her confused, so Anne continued “Promise me, promise me that nothing will ever come between us” Athos stared at her for some seconds, “Promise me, and mean it this time” she practically begged him, Athos nodded and after some seconds he said “I promise” Anne nodded too and after some seconds she started caressing his face “Good” she whispered softly and then she kissed him again, and at that point she wasn’t thinking anymore, she was just feeling and she was feeling good, so good. He regained the control and she let him.

He pushed her against the wall and started kissing her neck, kissing it with a strange sense of devotion. She caressed his head, his wet hairs. Why was he still wearing all those clothes? Those clothes were really useless and unnecessary. Her hands reached his shirt and took it off, he looked at her almost surprised for some moments, then simply asked “Are you sure? We can…” Anne stopped him by putting a finger on his lips “Stop talking, darling, I know you can make a better use of your mouth”

He nodded looking at her and then he kneeled before her, taking off her pants gently.   
Anne trembled for a second, this was really happening, she and Athos, again. She had a brief moment of terror where she realized that this would have changed everything, again, that there was no coming back from this, no way out and she knew it, she knew it but then she wasn’t thinking anymore, or she was but she didn’t care. So she let him take her underwear off and she pushed his face into her, moaning as he lapped softly at her clit and his hands grabbed her ass, pulling her closer, almost drowning into her.

Anne closed her eyes, trying to appreciate every moment. She was in control and she loved that, she was taking what she wanted from him, he wan’t complaining and she liked that “Oliver” she said lasciviously “Oliv…don’t you dare to stop…just don’t stop, please…”  
Once she reached the orgasm she started whispering her husbands’s name again “Oliver” and again “Oliver” and again “Oliver” then she pushed his head again and whispered his name one more time “Oliver”. She took his head into her hands and forced him to stand up once again. They looked each other in the eyes. He wanted her and she was feeling his desire so she pulled him closer again, whispering “Come here, come here…”.

Their lips melted once again, she put her hands in his hair and she deepened the kiss. He was still hesitant, which she found really strange considering she was feeling his erection against her, hard and insistent. So she separated from him, and slowly she took her shirt and her bra off. He looked at her speechless, admiring her perfect body.

“What are you waiting for?” Anne said smiling   
“Anne…”  
“Take me to bed, husband” she whispered in his left ear. But he didn’t move so after a moment she continued “Fine, I’ll take you to bed” she said taking his right hand, then she started moving   
“Anne…” he said hesitantly   
She turned in his direction “Athos… Please…” Anne said begging him

But he still didn’t move and therefore Anne sat on her husband’s desk “Oh for God’s sake, just fuck me here if you wish”

He didn’t need a further invitation, he moved forward and his lips slammed together with hers.  
He was ravenous and she liked that, while their lips kept moving against each other her hand travelled down his body, reaching inside his breeches. In that moment Anne separated her lips from her husband’s and with a lascivious look she began to touch him, slowly, softly, delicately, endearing and yet at the same time after some seconds it became desperate, needing and wanting. His hands fell on her waist, pulling her closer and she closed her eyes  
“Anne…”  
“You should take these off… Don’t you think?”  
Her husband nodded and obeyed, then he looked at her and grinned “Lay down” he said in a sweet and yet dangerous and sexy tone.  
She looked at him surprised for some seconds but then Anne did as he had asked and doing so she got rid of everything that was on the desk.   
Her husband looked at her silently “What? Do you mind?” she exclaimed   
“Not at all” he said smiling and saying so he lied down too, in one second he was inside her and all the doubts they both had didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore except the fact that their body were collapsing and that she was feeling his body against hers. They started moving together, his weight on her and Anne had probably never wanted anything more. He was moving inside her, each of his thrusts were deeper and more powerful and Anne was moving together with him, raising her hips to meet his thrust and without even realizing she started screaming “Harder, please, Athos, harder…Athos…” and saying so she suddenly harden her grip on him too.

Anne kissed her husband one more time and the feeling of their tongues entwining, of their bodies united, of their demanding hands, caused them both to shiver and groan against each other.   
She kissed him with growing hunger and colossal intensity and he responded with increasing desperation, pulling him closer.

He started kissing her neck and at the same time she closed her eyes. After that Athos started to nip and suck across her pale neck, making sure to leave visible marks. Anne was hers. Anne belonged with him and only with him and he wanted everyone to know. Once he was finished, Anne returned him the same favor. 

He moaned loudly and at the same time his hips continued to move rhythmically and Anne closed her eyes enjoying the moment. This was good, so good, so incredibly good. She returned to his neck and she started licking it and he got a shiver. Anne enjoyed the effect she still had on him but then she separated her tongue from her husband’s neck and forced him to look her in the eyes, taking his head with both her hands.   
She kissed him, again, and doing so she bit his lower lip, making him bleed “You’re mine” he nodded slightly “I am” “For good” she whispered “For good” he replied. 

For a moment there was silence, except for their moaning. Her legs were trembling wrapped around his hips, trying to pull him even closer than he already was. 

Anne’s back arched, her arms wrapped around his neck, while Athos’s head laid on her breasts.   
Her husband was still inside her and he kept going faster and harder.

Then Athos raised his head and kissed her. He kissed her passionately, fiercely, deeply.   
She opened her mouth to let him in and he accepted that gladly. They started fighting for the dominance of the kiss, he tried to resist her but eventually, as always, he let her win.

Athos smiled against her lips, continuing to thrust into her, again and again and again, groaning progressively in pleasure as he felt his climax building and after one final thrust Anne came hard. Anne hadn’t felt this kind of pleasure in years, she was swooning and her body was shuddering as she screamed her husband’s name. In that moment Athos couldn’t help but grinning, seeing how satisfied Anne was. A few seconds later Anne hugged him tighter, despite everything she was terrified and he felt it.

The way she was holding him spoke more than any word could have. Despite everything they had gone through and maybe especially because of what they had gone through, Anne was still terrified of loosing him. They way she was holding him close, the way she wanted to control him before that… were her twisted ways of saying him that he couldn’t abandon her again, that she didn’t want to, that she couldn’t loose him again, not this time, not when she just let him in again, not when she just started to trust him again, not when she had just started to feel hope again, hope for them, hope for their future. Athos slowed down and caressed the top of her head “I love you, Anne. And I’m here, flesh and blood and I’m not leaving you” Anne seemed relief by that declaration “Ok” she whispered and started kissing his neck again, nipping and sucking across it. Not long after he cum hard, screaming his wife’s name.

He collapsed next to her and Anne pulled him closer, hugging him. He wrapped his arms around her back, leaving small kisses on her shoulder. For a moment there was silence, Athos could hear her heart beating, he could smell her perfume and her skin. Their bodies were sweat, their hair were messy and their body were still trembling.

After some second Anne looked at him in this eyes “Maybe we should move somewhere more comfortable”  
“As you wish wife” he said wrapping his strong arms around her body once again  
Anne protested “What? No, not again”  
He laughed “Yes”   
And before she knew it he had transported her from his desk to his bed and she was lying on it, with him above her.  
“Athos… what are you doing?”  
“Taking good care of you” and saying that he caught one of her nipples in his mouth and not long after he enjoyed the sweet moans she made, she was so beautiful, so happy, so peaceful, so… Anne. His Anne. His beloved Anne, the same Anne that run in the fields with him and that made his life unpredictable and worthy of being lived. Everything was perfect and he couldn’t help but moaning in return. Then Anne put her hands in her husband’s hair whispering his name multiples times “Oliver” “Oliver” “Oliver”  
Then he left a kiss on her belly whispering “I’m not fished yet, wife, not by any measure” and saying so he started kissing her progressively down and down   
Anne grinned and put her hands on his shoulders pulling him closer “Go on then”

They didn’t sleep much that night


	17. 40 minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...

Athos woke up next morning finding Anne in his arms.

His wife was sleeping peacefully and with a huge smile on her lips, she was so calm, so happy, so beautiful. Athos smiled looking at her and then he kissed the top of her head. In that moment she move slightly but didn’t wake up, not yet.

He looked at her once again, he had spent years reliving every moment that they had spent together and he remembered everything, he remember everything perfectly.

He remembered her face, her smile, her laugh, her smirk.  
He remembered softness of her hair against his face, he remembered the feeling of her mouth against his skin, he remembered her grip on his shoulders, he remembered everything and he was sure he would have lived moments like that again. He was sure he would have never kissed her again, he was sure he would have never wrapped his arms around her again or woke up by her side again.

And yet Anne was sleeping in his bed again now, hugging him in her sleep like years hadn’t gone by. After a while she woke up and they stared each other in the eyes for some moments.  
“Morning beautiful” Athos said kissing her nose  
“Hello” she replied with a sleepy voice  
In that moment Anne saw something in his eyes that she couldn’t fully understand “So what? Do you regret it? So soon?”  
“No, no you silly! I would not regret it in a thousand years. If I there is something I regret is not to have done this before”  
Anne breathed heavily, then she moved closer to him and she kissed him once again,in a moment she was over him kissing his neck.  
“Anne…”  
“Shh… in 40 minutes I have to leave”  
“No, don’t leave… ” Athos said hugging her tight  
“I must, I’ve works to do…” Anne said caressing his abdominals  
“Are you sure?” Athos said begging her with his puppy face, Anne hated his puppy face, Anne found really difficult to resist his puppy face  
“Yes, I am” she said leaving wet and slow kisses on his neck  
Athos decided to take the control of the situation, changing their position. Now she lied down and he was over her, covering her whole body.  
“Not even if…” he moved his head closer to her left ear “I…touch you like this…” he said touching her thigh  
“Mmm… move your fingers in a more useful direction and…”  
Athos smiled moving his finger as she asked and his wife gave up “Fine, I have other 35 minutes… Make good use of them…”

40 minutes later Anne was getting dress and her loving husband was looking at her grinning.  
“Are you still staring at me?” Anne said, while she was handling with her corset  
“Yes, you are so beautiful, you have no idea” he said with a soft tone  
“I’m ready” she said turning her head in his direction

He was still naked, lying under the sheets “Come here, come here, please” he begged her  
Anne smirked “One minute”  
He agreed “One minute”

She came closer and kissed him slowly, putting her hands in his hair. She kissed him, like she never wanted to let him go, like it never could have been enough.  
After some seconds she separated from him “Ok, I really have to go, bye” she said leaving one last  
moulded kiss  
She tried to stand up but he stopped her, grubbing her arm “Anne…”  
“I really…”  
“Can I come tonight?” he said with a small naughty smile  
“To… my home?” Anne asked doubtful  
“Yes…Raoul and I could cook for you…we can spend some time together, you know”  
Anne stared at him without giving any reply  
“Would you like that, Anne?” he asked holding her hand  
Anne was terrified, too much was happening in too little time and she was not entirely sure about her feelings about it. Anyway after some seconds she agreed “Fine! At 6, don’t be late, but now let me go”  
“See you tonight” she whispered before leaving the room for good.

Athos laid in the bed for some seconds, trying to process what had happened the night before. Anne loved him, Anne loved him and that’s all he could think about. Anne, his Anne, loved him.  
They could be together again, they could be a couple again, even a family perhaps.

After some minutes someone entered his room, a friend of his, the Minister of France, Aramis.  
Athos looked at him confused “Aramis?”

His friend looked at him shocked, noticing that he was naked, lying in the bed with a strange smile on his face and some marks on his neck. After some seconds Aramis looked around noticed that his friend’s room was a mess, a bunch of letters lied on the floor, among with his seal and some ink. The situation was even too clear, too evident.

“Aramis, why are you here?” Athos said surprised  
“I… was here to D’Artagnan and… I just saw Milady de Winter leaving your apartment” he said upset  
Athos kept staring at him “Yes…?” he said without understanding  
Aramis still looked at him and he said embarrassed “… She… slept here, didn’t see?”  
“I can’t understand what business is that of yours” Athos said with a smirk  
Aramis looked at him still in shock “I cannot believe you slept with your wife!”  
“She did not sleep that much actually” Athos answered grinning  
“Athos! How could you do that?” Aramis exclaimed anxious  
Athos laughed a little “Well… I understand that this might be a little confusing for you but it’s quite normal for a married couple to…”  
“Oh I see your point! Now stop it please! Please” Aramis screamed  
But Athos laughed looking at him “Ok then… would you mind to leave my room now, please?”  
Aramis nodded embarrassed in that moment and went out of his friend’s room

Half an hour later Anne had returned home to have a change of clothes.  
She was looking at herself in the mirror, when she noticed that her husband had left an embarrassing number of hickeys on her neck. She touched her scar and for the first time ever she was happy that she had spent the last years finding different ways of covering her neck.

She decided she had still some time, enough for her to have a bath to calm her down.  
What had happened the previous night was something she had been wanting for a long time and yet she had thought it would have never happen, she had promised herself this would have never happened and yet she had let him in once again and she was terrified. She was excited, too. 

She was still shacking, still trembling at the thought of his lips against hers and his fingers on her body. Why couldn’t she just move on from him? Why couldn’t she just forget about him? Why?  
Deep down she knew why, he was the love of her life, he had always been and probably would have been forever, so she had no choice but to love him still, even if she wanted to fight this feeling.

A couple of hours later she was walking towards D’Artagnan’s office and all she could think about was Athos. Flash of the previous night obsessed her, his body, his lips, his hands on her body, his mouth on her skin. She needed to stop thinking about Athos and focusing on her job, the Captain was waiting for her and yet she couldn’t focus.

Once she arrived at the Garrison, she stopped just before the Captain’s office.  
She hated those chambers for obvious reasons. That place reminded her of Athos and of Athos’s chocking her. She hated that place, that place made her feel uncomfortable, unhappy and unwanted and yet she needed to go there regularly. After a deep breath she knocked at the door and the Captain let her in.

“Captain”  
“Milady”

They looked at each other silently for some seconds, he was showing his disgust as always  
“Do you require my services?” she asked annoyed  
“I don’t trust you” he answered bitterly  
“Nothing new. Do you need my help?” Milady asked without showing any kind of emotion  
“I can’t understand how Athos can trust you”  
She was used to such a comment and yet hearing that made her angry “Oh yes, how could Athos trust a woman like me? Anyway that’s none of your business, so I repeat. Do you need my help?”  
The Captain nodded “France does. You need to find someone for me, you need to find him and kill him”

She hated that part of her job. She hated the killings, they made her feel awful, guilty and dirty, she had never wanted to become the Cardinal’s creature but she felt she had no choice.

All those years before she was so broken that becoming the Cardinal’s creature seemed the only way of dealing with the deadness that lied in her heart and when she had returned to Paris after the war she had felt she had no choice too, no other way of surviving for her and her son. But she never that part of her job.

She smiled enigmatically at D’Artagnan “I can do that”  
“Discreetly, Milady. No-one must know that this person is dead”  
“Obviously”  
He gave her a letter “Here you can find all the informations you need”  
Milady started reading it “Oh”  
“More discreetly than that”  
Milady nodded “I see. But… are you sure you have the authority to order this?”  
“I’m the Musketeer’s Captain” he replied offended  
“Is the Queen aware of this?”  
“She is”  
“Any proof?”  
“Do you want to see Aramis’s order?”  
“It’s an idea, Captain”  
D’Artagnan looked at her annoyed but after some seconds he gave up and showed her the Minister order  
“I see…But burn it, now” Milady said seriously

Almost nine hours later Anne hadn’t return yet and her husband was pretty nervous. Neither Anne or Raoul were home and after an hour he really got nervous.

Where was she? What if she were in danger? What if she were hurt? What if she were already dead? He was terrified by his own thoughts, he needed to know where she was, how she was, so he decided to go to visit D’Artagnan in order to gain some information about Anne’s latest movements. He entered in his former office in a hurry without even knocking, the fear for Anne’s safety made him lose any sense.

D’Artagnan looked at him confused “Athos? Are you ok?” the Captain had never seen his friend in this condition, or maybe he had seen him like this only once, many years before. He had seen him like this the day he had found out his wife was still alive.  
Athos was terrified “Where is she?” he screamed  
“Who?”  
“My wife!”  
The Captain looked at his friend hesitantly and after some seconds he spoke trying to underplay the situation and to calm him down “She is… working. She is a grown up, you don’t need to worry about her”  
“I do worry. Now tell me where she is!” Athos cried angrily  
“I can’t. This is confidential, this regards…”  
“I don’t care!”  
“What?”  
“I said I don’t care”  
“Listen to me, I can’t allow you to infer! This is about the safety of the Nation!”  
“To Hell with the safety of the Nation! To Hell with France! To Hell with the young King! To Hell with the Queen Regent! What about my wife’s saftey??” he screamed terrified  
“Ok..Calm down…She can take care of herself. She doesn’t need your help!”  
“I won’t calm down! She is late. She’s never late” Athos said desperate  
D’Artagnan didn’t reply  
“When…when was she supposed to check in?”  
His friend kept silent  
“Tell me”  
D’Artagnan kept silent  
“I’m not joking. Tell me!”  
The Captain gave up “About three hours ago”  
“Oh my God” Athos whispered terrified. Athos’s heart stopped for a moment. Anne, his Anne could be dead, Anne might be already dead, how could he survive in a world where is dead?  
D’Artagnan saw the pure panic in his friend’s eyes and tried to reassure him “She’s fine. She’s Milady de Winter she doesn’t need saving”  
“Tell me where she is!” Athos screamed again  
“Athos…”  
“If she dies…If she’s already dead… I will never forgive myself and I will never forgive you”  
D’Artagnan was almost scared, he had never seen Athos so furious “Now. Tell me. Where. She. Is”  
 The Captain nodded and doing so he wrote something on a piece of paper and gave that to him “Here you can find the adress”  
Athos took it and without even saying a word he took his horse and left.

I can’t loose her. I can’t loose her  
Athos thought incessantly scared to death, what if she was already dead? What if he was a widow? What if Raoul was motherless?  
Athos started shaking his head, she can’t be dead, I can’t live in a word where she is dead, not again, never again, he thought.

He kept riding, still terrified, still worried. He needed to see her. He needed to hug her. He needed to know that she was alive, safe and sound.

He arrived at the address D’Artagnan had indicated and started looking for her desperately, he turned around seeing no sign of her. He started panicking, fearing that she might be really dead. Eventually he saw her, she seemed fine but he noticed that her arm was hurt. She was hurt. Her arm was bleeding and she was bandaging it with a drape ripped from her dress.

“Anne!” he screamed with relief  
She turned and looked at him  
“Why are you here?” she whispered surprised  
He came closer to her “You are hurt” he said watching at her wound  
“It’s nothing” she turned, looking behind her “We are not safe yet, follow me” and saying so she took his hand and he followed her without saying a word.

Then everything happened in a blink, he saw that someone was pointing a gun at them and without thinking he screamed that at Anne, and put himself before her trying to protect her. Anne realized what was going on and shoot their chaser, killing him. Then she realized that Athos was on his knee and that he was bleeding. Athos was bleeding, his stomach was bleeding and Anne panicked.

“Oliver”  
he looked at her  
“Oliver”  
she kneeled before him, trying to tampon his bleeding as he started losing his senses  
“Oliver” she said terrified


	18. My name is Anne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn’t supposed to be there, he shouldn’t have been there and yet he was and he had saved her and now he was dying and he was leaving her alone. Alone. Again. He was abandoning her again. Again. He was leaving her again, alone with Raoul and a broken heart. Alone. Broken and alone.

“Oliver” she whispered terrified once again  
“Oliver no, no, no”  
“Oliver don’t you dare to die on me, stay with me, stay with me” she said begging him not to close his eyes but then he did  
“No, no stay with me, stay with me”  
She tamponed the bleeding with her cloak and after that she turned around, there was no-one that could have helped her and anyway that place wasn’t safe enough. Anne knew she needed to leave as soon as possible and Athos was unconscious in her arms, Athos was dying in her arms.  
After some seconds he opened his eyes again “Anne”  
“I’m here”  
“Anne, Anne you…you have to know that…”

“No! You, idiot! Don’t say a thing! You’re not dying. You’re not dying, you’ll come round, you’ll be fine and I’ll make you pay you for this, I’ll make you pay and your life will be so miserable that you’ll regret not killing me when you had the chance, I can promise you that” she exclaimed angrily

She breathed heavily and closed her eyes for one second, she needed to calm down and then she realized that she needed to act soon, but at the same time she was afraid she wouldn’t have been strong enough to carry Athos on her own. The bleeding apparently had stopped but Anne was still terrified. Anyway Athos felt a little better, he opened his eyes once again and looked at her “Anne…”  
“Shh… Now we go and find a doctor and you’ll be fine. You’re not leaving me again, you are not breaking another promise, ok?”  
“Anne…”  
Anne laughed nervously “Can you move? We only have to reach your horse. Can you do this?”  
“Yes” he said and stood up having an hold on his wife  
“Grab me! Now we fix this” Anne said calmly

They left in a hurry. Anne was desperate and afraid but she needed to focus. Anne decided to go to the Garrison, she knew that a doctor was there time after time and anyway they could easily have called someone from the Palace. Once they arrived she screamed for help and a bunch of Musketeers and cadets arrived and they took him away.

She stood there, in shock, her dress full of blood, her hands full of blood and her husband taken away from her. Alone.

After a while she heard a soft voice “Milady? Milady? Milady do you hear me?”  
She turned her head and she saw Constance  
“Come with me, Milady. You need to change that dress”  
Anne didn’t want to move but without even realizing that she followed Constance and entered into her apartment  
“You should wash your hands, too”

Anne could barley hear her but Constance didn’t mind. She gave her water and a new dress and Anne cleaned and changed herself without replying.

Constance was surprised, she had never seen her like this, mute and terrified and her eyes were vacuous, her expression shocked. Then she noticed the wound Anne had on her arm.  
“Come here, I have some proper bandage for that wound too”  
“It’s nothing, Athos…”  
“I know it’s nothing but let me help you”

Milady nodded and let Constance help her. Her arm hurt but she didn’t care, all she could think about was her husband. Her husband that some hours before was lying naked with her, her husband that only a few hours later was bleeding heavily on her. Her husband that might be dead by now. Dead. Gone.

He wasn’t supposed to be there, he shouldn’t have been there and yet he was and he had saved her and now he was dying and he was leaving her alone. Alone. Again. He was abandoning her again. Again. He was leaving her again, alone with Raoul and a broken heart. Alone. Broken and alone.

Suddenly she realized that Constance was looking at her with a strange expression on her face.

“Thank you, Constance” Anne said after some seconds  
The other woman nodded and Anne continued “I just found him again, I can’t lose him again”

Constance saw again pure panic in her eyes and she was surprised. For years she had believed that Milady was heartless and incapable of feeling any kind of emotion, well she loved her son but that was the only emotion she had ever seen on her. And yet now she was there scared to death for her husband’s life and against all odds Constance felt sorry for her.

“He means…” Milady couldn’t continue, she had no intention of sharing her private thoughts and feelings  
“You love him” Constance finished for her  
Anne didn’t reply but her face spoke more loudly than her words ever could.

“I need to see him”  
“You need to calm down first, where is your son?”  
“My son…He’s well. He is at the palace now. Oh God I should go to pick him up I..” Anne felt incredibly guilty in that moment, with all that had happened she didn’t even had a thought for her son. Her son who knew nothing about Athos’s… condition. Oh… she had to tell him, the thought of her husband dead and her child hurt broke her heart.

Constance shacked her head “No, no. You’re not well, your husband is not well. The only thing you should do now is focus on that. I’ll send a message to the Queen to inform her that your son is sleeping there, ok?”  
“Ok” Anne repeated nodding

Constance was about to leave when Anne spoke again “I never intended to kill you, you know. I just needed a leverage, an… insurance against the Musketeers. It was a difficult time of my life, I was driven by revenge and pain and… What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry Constance. Truly sorry”  
Constance thought about those words for some moments and then said “Thank you, Milady”  
“It’s Anne”  
“What?” Constance asked confused  
“My name. It’s Anne”  
“Anne” she repeated  
Then she left.

Anne was left all alone and she really tried to calm down but she couldn’t.  
Athos seemed stable, when she left him and yet she couldn’t stop thinking about her husband’s pale face, his wound, his blood.

She sat down, looking at her hands, trying to forget that Athos blood was there, like Thomas’s blood once was. The thought of Thomas made her physically sick, he had been the first man that she had killed and she did that because her husband had taught her something, Athos had taught her to respect herself, to value herself, to appreciate herself. And she had killed him in self defense because she respected herself enough not to let him rape her. And that murder and her lies had destroyed her life. But fate seemed to have given them further chance to be happy, to be together and in the exact moment, when Anne had believed they could have sorted everything out he…

In that moment she heard someone knocking at the door and she went and opened it to find Porthos in front of her “He’s stable. He lost a lot of blood, but he is recovering, you can see him now”  
She never felt more relief her entire life and hugged him “Ok, let’s go”  
She run through the Garrison and eventually she arrived in front of the room where they were keeping Athos. She entered and Porthos waited outside.

He was lying on the bed, he looked pale and his abdomen was bandaged. He looked so vulnerable, so weak, so defenseless. His whole body was aching and he groaned, after that he opened his eyes and with a strange smirk he whispered her name “Anne” She came closer to him “Anne” he said again. She breathed heavily “Anne” and she sat near him, squeezing his hand “I’m here”  
“Anne…”

“Why did you do that?” Anne whispered half angry and half desperate  
“Anne… I…I had no choice”  
“There is always a choice, you…you could have died!” she said, trying not to cry  
“Anne…You were late and I…had to do something” he tried to excuse herself  
“What do you mean?” She asked confused  
“Anne… I couldn’t live in a world where you don’t exist, I couldn’t lose you again, when I said that I loved you I meant that, it was the truth, still is the truth, I love you and I’m not interested in living in a word where you are dead. I…believed you dead for 5 years, I can’t bear that again…”  
She stared at him with tears falling from her eyes “You could have died, you stupid fool”  
“Anne, are you… crying?” he asked surprised  
“No”  
“Anne, listen. I’m fine”  
“Of course you are, you utter bastard”  
“Come here, lay down with me” he said with his sweetest tone  
She did that and then she smiled at him “You bastard”  
He smiled too, or sort of “Yeah, I know you’ll make me pay”  
“I will” she replied resolute  
“I can’t wait”

They stayed like this, Anne hugging him with closed eyes and Athos kissing her forehead.  
After a while she opened her eyes and caressing his face she asked him “How are you feeling now?”  
“You are here with me, I couldn’t be better”  
“Oh could you stop with this charming, flirty tone, please?”  
“No” he waited another second and then continued “Where is our son?”  
“He’s fine, you don’t need to worry about it. He is at the palace”  
“With the King”  
“With Aramis’s son, yes” Anne replied  
Athos laughed “Please, please don’t say that aloud darling”  
“Oh please everyone knows. The whole court knows, probably the whole city knows” Anne exclaimed and Athos smiled softly without answering that.

Anne reflected about it for some seconds and eventually asked “Did Louis ever find out?”  
Hearing those words Athos got a little nervous “Do we really have to talk about your former lover?”  
But that reply didn’t convince her to drop the argument. On the contrary she insisted on that matter. Anne found that situation incredibly funny “He really was a great lover, actually, really caring, affectionate and passionate”  
“Yes, everyone knew that he was satisfied with your bedroom skills”  
“Oh, yes he definitely was” Anne said mocking him  
Her husband looked at her and then with an irritate tone said “I can imagine”  
“Are you jealous? Oh yes you are. Come on the poor man is dead!”  
After a moment, unexpectedly Athos replied “Fine. I might be jealous of a dead man… But you should remember with whom you experienced that tricks before”  
“I do remember” Anne said smiling at him, then she moved towards him and their lips melted.

Athos did not expected that and he was overwhelmed, then she separated from him for one second and their noises touched. Anne lost herself in Athos’s eyes for one second and then she kissed him again and this time he was prepared and answered that kiss. He had missed those lips, he had missed that face, he had missed that woman. She kissed him, gently, calmly, sweetly, she wanted to do more but he was still hurt and she tried to limit herself, he noticed that and tried to deepened the kiss. She felt his demanding tongue trying to take over and she let him.  
They were still in that position when D’Artagnan entered in the room “Oh my God! I’ve seen too much” the Captain exclaimed  
Anne separated from her husband and stood up “Relax D’Artagnan, I leave now”  
“Yes relax Captain, it’s not like you never had her before” Athos said with his mocking tone  
Anne turned and looked at her husband furious “How dar..”  
“Yeah, you’ll make me pay for this, too”  
“Count on it!” Anne said kissing him one more time, a quick kiss, a kiss full of promise and hope, a simple kiss, a normal kiss, like they did it every other day, as if they were used to, as if they never stopped, never separated.


	19. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you Anne”   
> “I know” Anne smirked at him “I’m your beautiful badass, sexy wife. You would be a fool not to love me”

In the following weeks Athos recovered well, Anne informed Raoul that his father had been shoot and brought him to visit Athos quite often.

Raoul and Anne were there a couple of weeks later, when the doctor said that Athos could go back home and start the recovery there.

“Can I leave this room? For real?” Athos exclaimed surprised   
“Yes, you can, but I will visit you regularly to check on your wounds and you’ll need constant help to learn how to move again properly”   
Athos nodded in return, satisfied with that answer.   
After some seconds the doctor continued “Would you mind to give me your address, Mon Seigneur?”   
Athos didn’t have time to answer because before he could even reply he heard Anne’s voice speaking “He will be at my place, doctor”   
That really was unexpected. Athos looked at his wife in disbelief without really understanding what was going on “At…”   
Anne smiled looking in his direction “Yes, well…Maybe it’s better to say our place now but don’t get too excited” The doctor nodded in return looking at the strange couple in front of him and then left the room.

Athos turned in Anne’s direction and then looked at Raoul without even finding the right words to say “I…”   
His son looked at him and with a small sad smile and said with a trembling voice “Aren’t you happy, Dad?”   
Athos noticed immediately his insecure tone and tried to reassure him “I’m…shocked. Are you ok with this, sweetie?”  
Raoul nodded “Yes, yes mom asked me first”   
“Obviously” Anne remarked with a pleased smile  
“But…How? You need to work and I…” Athos said hesitantly   
“Oh don’t flatter yourself Athos, my life won’t stop because of you. Our friends will do their part too”  
“You have set everything up I see…”  
“As always” Anne whispered sitting next to him and looking at him in the eyes  
In that moment their son looked at them with a shocked face “Oh, please don’t kiss in front of me”

Both Athos and Anne laughed a little, then she turned in her son’s direction and captured him, hugging thigh “Oh my baby, my little baby wants his parents attention” Raoul looked alarmed “No, Mom! Dad! What are you doing? Mom! Mom!” In a moment Anne had put her son, between Athos and herself and they both started kissing their child. For some seconds Raoul stayed serious but then he gave up and started laughing. 

Anne had probably never felt this happy her entire life, she finally was at peace and she just wanted to stay like this forever. Eventually Raoul was set free and he left in a hurry screaming he needed to train.

At that moment Athos looked at her and whispered seriously “Are you sure?”   
Anne smiled at him caressing his face “Yes, I’m sure”   
“You said… you said our home, so you mean…”   
“I mean that… I’m not losing you again, I can’t lose you again. I’m bound to you, as you are to me, remember?”   
“I love you Anne”   
“I know” Anne smirked at him “I’m your beautiful badass, sexy wife. You would be a fool not to love me”   
“I’ve been a fool for a long time” he replied sadly and after some seconds he went on “But thank God that time is over now”   
“Thank God indeed” Anne whispered reaching his lips. Their lips melted and Anne pulled him closer, playing with his hair. It felt so good, kissing him again, feeling him again, having him again. It felt so good, so familiar, so natural. Neither of them had any intention of giving up on what they had this time.

Athos moved in with Anne and their son and three months later she had managed to definitely dismantling the rate of the Spanish spies and Athos had recovered enough to restart working for the Musketeers, even if his anxious wife feared it was too soon.

One morning Anne accompanied her husband to the Garrison, her plan was to go to a new tailor to commission some new dresses but Athos noticed soon that she was incredibly pale. She hadn’t been well that week and Athos was a little worried “Are you ok, honey? How do you feel?”  
Anne nodded sightly “Yes, yes…I just…” and in that moment Anne collapsed and Athos panicked “Anne… Anne” he screamed holding her “Anne” he slapped her a little “Anne” he cried.  
She opened her eyes in that moment “I’m here” she whispered with a soft voice “I’m here”  
Athos kissed her forehead with relief “Ok, now I bring you to the doctor”   
“Oliver…”   
“I’m here honey, I’m here” he replied worried

10 minutes later Anne was in a room of the Garrison, waiting for the doctor

“I’m fine, Athos, you can go” she said annoyed   
“You’ve just fainted, I’m not leaving you” he replied secure  
“Yes, you are. Listen it’s my fault actually. The last four months have been…stressing, I haven’t slept enough or eaten enough, it’s nothing I’m sure”  
“Anne…”   
“I said it’s nothing, I’m sure” Anne replied once again  
“Anne you’ve puked three time this week, then this I…”   
“Oliver calm down, it was just an intestinal virus and I feel well now!”   
“Anne…”   
“Stop saying my name” Anne said almost laughing   
“But…”  
“Go and do your job, husband! And try not to screw everything up” she warned him   
“Oh… you have such a faith in me, darling!” he replied pretending to be annoyed   
“Definitively I have. You know….You and your friends have the ability to destroy all my work with some simple honorable moves” she said with a smirk   
“Oh I’m sorry darling, I promise I’ll try not to ruin your hard work this time”  
Anne relaxed a little “Good. Now go, please just go”  
“You sure?” he asked one last time   
“Go! Now! I told you, it’s nothing. Go!”  
He left but not before kissing her forehead “See you soon mon amour” 

Three hours later Anne was still at the Garrison and Porthos visited her.   
He knocked at the door but Anne didn’t even reply. For a moment he thought that she might be asleep or already gone and so he decided to enter and find out. Once he did he immediately noticed that Anne was still laying on the bed, with open eyes, staring at canopy, in silence, without even moving.

“Anne…?”   
She turned in his direction and stood up “He sent you…” she said with an irritated tone  
“Yes, he’s worried” after some seconds he continued “Anne? Anne? Are you ok?” Porthos asked her a little worried but he received no answers, instead she kept looking at him without replying.

In that moment Porthos realized that definitely something was wrong with her “Anne..? Anne…?You… look… scared”  
“I am scared” she whispered with tears in her eyes

Porthos was definitely worried. Anne seemed so vulnerable, so young, so terrified. Without even realizing that he was, he came closer and hugged her, he felt she was tense, she did not even respond to the hug, staying there without moving, but after a while she melted and she responded hugging him tight.

Eventually Anne separated from him “Oh for God’s sake! I hate him” she cried   
Porthos smiled at her trying to reassure her “No, you don’t. You love him”  
“I do but now I hate him more” Anne said irritated with a smirk   
“Anne… What’s going on?” he asked worried

She breathed heavily “I wanted to have a child, you know…”   
“You have a child” he replied confused  
“No, before Raoul, before that, before…everything” she said with a trembling voice   
“Yes…” Porthos looked at her without understanding   
“I wanted a child and he needed an heir and we were in love and we wanted a big family and everything was perfect and…”   
“Anne, slow down I don’t understand what you..”   
But she didn’t let him finish “I wanted to conceive and I wanted that so badly, I even prayed for a child I…”   
“Ok, Anne I see your point but still I can’t understand what’s going on, what…”   
But again she didn’t let him finish “And then we’ve slept together one time, one time, and BOOM he got me pregnant with Raoul”   
“Yes I remember that”   
“Then… well you know what happened next…”   
“Yes…”   
“And I told myself I couldn’t forgive him and I didn’t. At first. But then I…I… and I…”   
“I know Anne, it’s been hard for you”   
“It’s been more than hard, Athos’s return has forced me to… face my feelings for him and I tried not to lose control and I tried to push him away….and I failed, I failed. I failed and…I let him in, again”   
“It’s ok Anne” Porthos said nodding   
“I let him in again, actually I let him in quite literally” Anne said seriously   
“What do you mean?” Porthos replied sincerely confused but a glare from her made him realize what she meant   
“Anne!” he exclaimed “Too much details!”   
“Oh com’on you were the one that was rooting for him from day 1, weren’t you?”   
“Fine, fine, you’re right, I’m listening but still can’t understand what…”  
“He got me pregnant, again!”


	20. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter
> 
> “Anne!” he exclaimed “Too much details!”   
> “Oh com’on you were the one that was rooting for him from day 1, weren’t you?”   
> “Fine, fine, you’re right, I’m listening but still can’t understand what…”  
> “He got me pregnant, again!”

“What?” Porthos screamed in shock   
“The doctor called a midwife and the midwife said that I’m with a child” Anne replied calmly   
“But…it’s too soon to know, right? I mean… he fully recovered only some days ago, it’s definitely too early to know and…”  
Anne stared at him silently, with a guilty face and Porthos understood “No way! It happened before the shooting! Unbelievable!”   
Anne nodded slightly without giving any further explanation, then Porthos continued “How did I miss this?” he said genuinely surprised   
Anne looked at him embarrassed and then she spoke hesitantly “There was no time to process it…It happened only a few hours before the shooting and then…”   
But Porthos wasn’t listening anymore “Before the shooting, you mean…The night before…?”   
Anne nodded “Yes, the night we worked together and then you left us alone and delivered the letters for me…”   
“Oh…”  
“Yes..oh! I should kill you! It’s all your fault!” Anne exclaimed agitated  
“My fault? You two can’t keep your clothes on and it’s my fault!?!” Porthos replied amused  
“Yes, it’s all your fault! You let me alone with him! I should have gone to the palace as planned but not we had to ‘enjoy the rest of the evening’!”   
“And apparently you did”   
“Porthos!” she exclaimed hitting him   
“Calm down woman!”   
“Nope. All of this happened because of you, I’ll make you pay” she said glowering at him   
“All because of me? Really? And what about your husband’s contribution?”   
“Yes, you’re right. You are both guilty, so I’ll punish you both” Anne said firmly   
For some seconds they both stayed in silence but eventually Porthos spoke again “Anyway… I think I can take some of the credit…So I’ll be the baby’s godfather”   
Anne laughed for the first time “So I haven’t told the father yet and you claim him already”   
“I do” he replied with a smirk   
“Fine! You’ll be the baby’s godfather” 

After some seconds Anne looked at him more serious and with a lost expression “and now what?”   
Porthos smiled at her “I guess you’ll tell him and then you two will figure everything out”   
Anne said with a trembling voice “You make it sounds it so easy, I…”   
“Anne you are a great mother and anyway if he leaves you, at least you know Athos’s genes are good one. You two make cute babies”   
She hit him in that moment “Anne! I was joking! He’s not leaving you again, he can’t leave you”   
“And how can you know that?”   
“Anne… he loves you, he loves Raoul, it will be fine, eventually you two will be fine. And if he is so stupid to leave you I’ll run after him, I’ll punch him and I’ll bring him back, I promise you that”   
She smiled laughing “Thank you” and he nodded in return   
Then Anne put her hands in her hair “I’m pregnant”   
Porthos smiled “I’m aware. But it’ll be better this time, you’ll be better. You are in a more stable situation, you’re a grown up, you are already a mother. You’ll not be alone this time, I promise.”   
“I was not alone the first time” she replied annoyed  
“You know what I mean” Porthos said with a serious look  
“I…I thought he had abandoned me, I was broken, I… I can’t go through that again” Anne whispered desperate, with a huge sadness in her eyes.  
“Anne, Anne look at me” and she looked at him “Anne, he won’t leave you this time and if he will be this stupid I’ll be there, Elodie will be there, I think that even Constance will be there, you are not alone”   
Anne nodded “I have one child and I’m having another, I think I won’t ever be alone again” 

Porthos touched her arm caressing her softly “Tell him. Tell him, everything will work out”  
“You’re so…optimistic” Anne said hesitantly  
“He will be happy, Anne” he insisted once again  
“He’ll freak out, you know that” she affirmed calmly  
“He probably will” her friend agree with her   
Anne touched her tummy “I can’t believe it’s real. Athos and I are back together again and I’m with a child, I didn’t even wanted a second child! How did it happen?”   
“I think you know how it happened Anne”  
Anne looked at him with a cold look that almost scared him “Calm down Anne, you can do this”   
She didn’t reply, then after some seconds she spoke again “Don’t tell anyone, Porthos, not yet”   
He nodded in return “I won’t, but you must tell him, you know, right?”   
“Perhaps not right now” she whispered   
“Anne! Do you realize that he will notice that sooner or later?” Porthos exclaimed surprised   
“Exactly, later is better!”   
“Anne…”   
“Yes, I’ll tell him, eventually. I must go now. I have to pick up Raoul anyway” she said waking up and packing all her things   
“Don’t find lame excuses! I know that you have to pick him up only in the afternoon!” he exclaimed  
“You are so annoying my darling friend” she exclaimed leaving the room   
“Anne you have to tell him! Anne! Anne!”   
“I know, I know, see you… someday!”   
“Anne! Anne!”

 

Some hours later Anne actually went at the palace to pick her son up. Raoul seemed tired and Anne called him smiling “Sweetie, come here”   
He came closer and let her mother hug him “Hey, are you alright baby?”   
“Yes, I just hate arithmetics, it’s boring and useless”  
“It’s not useless, it’s important” she replied patiently   
“But Mom!”   
“No mom! I know it can be hard, but you have to study this things, I want you to have every option, I want you to have the best chance” she said calmly 

“I know Mom, I’m sorry” he said nodding with a sad tone  
“My boy” she said kissing his head   
“But I don’t want to be a scholar, I want to be a Musketeer” he whispered fiercely   
“Yes, yes little one, I know, but a Musketeers needs more than strength and courage. Arithmetics, history, even poetry can be useful to a soldier, your father can tell you that”

He smiled in her direction “I’m happy that he’s with us Mom, I’m so happy”   
“I know, I’m too” Anne said caressing his head. And she realized that she was, happy. Happy. Happy to have him around, to see him everyday, to sleep with him, to find him next to her every morning. They still had nightmares from time to time but they had each other now so they could comfort each other, when necessary. 

“You two should get married” Raoul affirmed fiercely   
“We are married darling” Anne replied confused   
“I know, I know, I mean… again”   
Anne laughed “Are you serious?”  
“Yes, more or less”  
“Why?” Anne asked genuinely surprised   
“I don’t know…I wasn’t there the first time and it could be a new beginning for the three of us” her son replied seriously and Anne looked at him, he had a point after all. Her little boy was so sweet and caring and full of hope and she was so grateful that he was like that, her only hope was that he could stayed like this forever.  
She whispered heavily and after some seconds she spoke to him “Don’t be afraid darling, no matter what, you’ll always have me, and you will always have your father too. You don’t need a marriage to know that”  
Raoul smiled at her, but after some seconds he looked at her worried “Mom are you alright?”   
Anne looked at him confused “Yes, of course. Why do you ask?”  
“You vomited three times this week and you look so pale even now” Raoul said reflective

Anne froze in that moment. 

He knows

That’s the only thought that she had. 

He knows

He had noticed that she wasn’t fine, he had noticed something was wrong, he was the only person that truly knew her and he knew.

“Mom?” he asked hesitantly   
“It’s nothing you should worry about”

But Raoul didn’t listen “You are always tired”  
Anne nodded “Yes, but it’s normal. You know my job can be stressing”  
“Yes, I know. But even now, even now that you’re not working, you are always tired” 

Anne knew he was right, she had been really tired in the previous months but she had never thought that this could depend on her being pregnant, she hadn’t even taken into consideration the idea and yet it was a clear sign, she should have known, she should have guessed that.

“You’re right baby, it’s ok, it’s nothing that should scare you”  
But Raoul didn’t stop, again “You’re always hungry, too. It’s strange, I mean, you are really always hungry Mom. It’s never happened before, not like this at least, and when you’re not hungry you dislike foods that you had always loved, like you’ve changed your tastes, it’s… odd Mom” 

Anne was speechless, he was right, her son had noticed all those details about her, he was so intelligent and caring and sweet, she was so proud that he was her son, that she had raised such a great wonderful boy.

“Raoul, I’m not ill, really, you have nothing to worry about”   
He looked at her once again and then he entered their home mumbling “You may not be ill but there is something you’re not telling me” and Anne knew he was right. 

She felt guilty in that moment.   
She never had secrets with her son before that but she needed to tell Athos first, she knew she had to, she knew it was the right thing to do but she cursed her husband once again, his return had complicated everything, again.

A couple of hours later someone knocked at her door, which surprised her a lot because she wasn’t expecting anyone. For a moment she feared it could have been Athos but then she remembered herself that he never knocked, not anymore. It was his house, too, after all and she wanted him to feel her house theirs.

Finally she gave up and she reached the entrance and opened the door.


	21. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne smiled softly at him “You’ve always been good at this, Oliver”  
> “At what?”  
> “Calming me down”

“Elodie?” she said surprised   
“Hello to you too Anne, can I come in?” the other woman exclaimed smiling   
“I…Yes of course. But… Did we have an appointment today? Have I forgot?”  
“No, no… but since both Porthos and Athos are on duty tonight, Marie Cezette and I decided to came here to keep each other company” she said quite excited

Anne looked at her for some seconds, Elodie was holding her baby boy with her left arm and at the same time she was holding her daughter’s hand with the other but against all odds she seemed so relaxed.

“Fine, enter” Anne said amused  
“Thank you” Elodie replied smiling with a victorious tone  
Then Anne looked at Marie Cezette “You can go in Raoul’s room, I’m sure he’ll enjoy playing with you” the little girl nodded embarrassed and left.  
Elodie entered too and then looked at Anne “Would you mind to to hold baby for a second? I really need to go to the bathroom now, I haven’t had a minute for myself in the last two days”  
Anne did not even had the time to reply to that, that Elodie had left her baby in her friend’s arms and left.

Anne noticed immediately that Jean Louis was nervous and therefore she started cuddling him “Hello JL, shh… don’t worry, your Mom will be back soon” she waited some seconds and he seemed to have settled down, then she continued “You’re so beautiful, you know? My boy was just like you” and in that moment Anne felt a great nostalgia, she thought about the time when Raoul was still a newborn and how much she missed those peaceful days and without even realizing it, she started kissing his head “and look at these feet, these perfect little feet, you are so cute. I had forgotten how tiny newborns are”

After some seconds Anne realized that she was thinking about the future, not only about the past. She was thinking about her new child, without even realizing she was.   
She was trying to imagine him or her, she was trying to imagine his or hers appearance, she was trying to imagine how he or she would have become and she smiled down at her friend’s child whispering to him “Your mother is really wicked and your father is even worse, maybe is better for you to know that right now” Anne nodded “They really are a terrible couple, you know. They decided to let me here alone with you so…so, so that I could realize that I truly want my new baby, those two are really… wicked”  
Then she noticed that Elodie was looking at her from distance “I hate you Elodie, you know that?”  
She smiled coming closer “No, you don’t”

Some hours later Anne woke up hearing some noises and she got alarmed at first but after a second she realized that it was her husband and in a moment she felt Athos’s left harm hugging her tight and kissing her neck.   
It had become an habit for them, to hug and to kiss each other’s neck when they reunited, even if one of them was already asleep. 

Anne smiled feeling his mouth on her neck and turned in his direction reaching his lips.   
She kissed him and he kissed her back, it was a small, sweet, tender kiss at first but after a moment it became more intense, more passionate and for a moment she considered the idea of telling him, of stopping him and telling him and yet, when he started caressing her thigh she lost all the control she still had.

Anyway after some seconds, unexpectedly, Athos pulled away “Before this tell what’s wrong with you”  
Anne kissed his forehead frustrated “What? Don’t tell me that your spy hasn’t told you everything yet” she said kissing his neck   
“Well… my spy is more loyal to you than to me”   
“You can’t blame me, you’ve been away a long time” she said bitterly.

Anne soon realized that saying that had hurt him and she felt sorry for him and yet at the same time she did not regret that. She closed her eyes, Anne might have been willing to try again but this didn’t mean she could have easily forgotten about those years they had spent apart.   
The pain he had caused her was still there, as well as their consuming love was. He saw that, he knew that, and he felt terrible for that.  
“Anne…” he whispered with a huge sadness in his eyes.  
“Shhh” his wife said pulling him closer and kissing him once again but he gently separated once more “Sweetheart, don’t distract me”   
“I don’t” she said caressing his back with a ingenuous expression.   
“You do” he replied touching his nose with hers.   
She caressed his head pulling him closer to her “There is nothing wrong with me, Athos, I’m not ill. On the contrary, I’m fine, now please shut up”   
“Anne…” he said with a sweet tone separating from her once again “Anne, tell me what’s going on” he said worried. She closed her eyes for a second and she let him hug her.  
“Anne…”  
“Not yet, Oliver” she replied with a trembling tone  
“You are scared” Athos simply stated and Anne wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck “There is something I need to tell you but not… not, not yet, please” she begged him   
Athos nodded in return and Anne reached his lips once again “Can we go back to the latest topic, please?” she begged him, but in a different way this time  
“Are you sure? Anne…”  
“Yes I’m sure, there is no more damage you can do anyway” she whispered kissing his neck  
“What?” he asked confused but Anne didn’t let him finish

The next morning she woke up alone and she hated waking up alone in their bed, but after some seconds her husband entered the room.

“Hey” Athos whispered smiling in her direction   
“Hello” his wife replied with relief 

Athos came closer and left a kiss on her forehead “Morning beautiful, did you sleep well?”  
“Very well. Raoul?”  
“With his tutor, at the palace”  
Anne opened her eyes wide “It’s so late? What time is it?” she asked worried  
“It’s 10 a.m honey” he replied and hearing that made Anne feel agitated “I overslept”  
Athos caressed her face “You seemed tired Anne, we decided to let you sleep”  
She nodded knowing that he had a point and then stared at him without saying a further word. Her husband looked at her and he realized that Anne had a strange look on her face this time.  
“This is serious” he simply stated

But Anne ignored him “Do you think we will ever be at peace, you and I?”  
Athos looked at her confused, and then he thought about it for a moment and finally gave her an answer “No”  
Anne looked at him speechless, without finding the right words to say and Athos sat in front of her caressing her cheek “No, not until we are both dead, but I also think that it doesn’t matter”   
Anne looked at him in disbelief without realizing what he wanted to say, but after some seconds he continued “Our past is part of us and we can’t delete it, no matter how ardently we would like to” He breathed heavily “But it doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t matter anymore because we are together. Stay with me Anne, today and tomorrow and I promise you we’ll figure everything out, we’ll face our problems and our uncertainties, together. I’m bound to you, you’re bound to me, we belong together and you know that” He took her hand “You are my prop in all ways, you’re everything to me, you’re the one. It’s you, it’s you, it’s always been you, I’ve loved you all my life Anne. Now I have everything I’ve ever wanted and I’ll fight for you, for us, I’ll fight for rest of our days. I won’t give up on you, I’ll never give up on you again, so whatever it is tell me, we’ll face it together”  
Anne smiled softly at him “You’ve always been good at this, Oliver”  
“At what?”  
“Calming me down”  
“That’s my job” he replied smiling, their foreheads touched each other and for a moment Anne thought that everything could have really gone good.  
Anne put her hands on his cheeks “I want to trust you”  
“There is nothing I’d like more” he said seriously   
She closed her eyes acknowledging a truth that was undeniable “We cannot go back in time, we’ll never be as we once were” and her husband nodded in return “No, we won’t. That part of our life is gone, but it doesn’t mean that we are over, on the contrary I think we have just started”

Wow. That actually was a trite romantic declaration, a declaration that touched her and moved her and confused her.

“Oliver…” she started hesitantly   
“What’s going on with you?” he asked genuinely preoccupied   
“I’m…I’m overemotional, oh my God, I really am overemotional, I hate hormones!” she exclaimed frustrated  
“Hormones?” Athos replied embarrassed  
“Yes, hormones and it’s all your fault” she said hitting him   
“I don’t understand…You have your period and it’s my fault?”  
“On the contrary, I don’t have my period and it’s all your fault!”

Athos looked at her still confused and worried “Are you ill?”  
And Anne in that moment laughed nervously “You may say so, it’s a common illness actually, nothing particular, in six months I’ll be better”  
“What do you…?”

Anne kept staring at him without saying a single word and only after some seconds he realized what she was meaning

“What are you saying..? What…”  
“I’m saying yesterday I fainted because… I’m with a child” she said slowly   
“With a child” he replied   
“Pregnant, Oliver”  
“You…”  
“It’s yours obviously”  
“Yes but…how…”  
“I think you know how”  
“But I…”  
“You are really fertile, husband”  
“Anne…”

They stayed in silence for some seconds, looking at each other, both terrified.

“Don’t you dare to walk away from this again, Athos” she said with a threatening tone  
He hesitated for some seconds “I won’t, I love you”  
She kissed him then, pulling his face into hers “I love you too”   
“Anne…”  
“Anne…”  
“I…”

In that moment someone knocked at the door. Athos left to go and open it and Anne put a gown on and followed him.

“Porthos? Is there something wrong?” Athos asked worried  
“No, no, nothing wrong. I’m sorry to bother you but we need you on a mission for a couple of days. We need to escort the Dutch ambassador to Le Harve and assure that he sails unharmed…”  
Athos barley registered those words turning in Anne’s direction. His wife stood behind him, pale, with a seraphic expression, with an emotionless expression “Go”

Go. Go. That’s was her answer, her simple and yet so clear answer. Go. Away. Away from her.

“Anne…”  
“No, I’m serious, go” she repeated more kindly this time   
“Anne…”  
“Go, spend time with your friends, deal with… everything that you need to deal with and then come back to me” she hesitated a few seconds “to us”  
“To you” he repeated coming closer to her “To the three of you” Athos whispered softly in her ear, in that moment she hugged him, leaving a moist kiss on his neck. He hugged her too, pulling her closer liking the feeling of her body on his, he felt that Anne was incredibly tense and in pulling her closer he tried to calm her, to reassure her, to make her feel safe, wanted, loved.   
After a while she separated from him “Go! We’ll talk when you are be back”  
Athos looked in her eyes still trying to figure out what it was the right thing to do  
“Anne…”  
“Go, this is the last time I tell you so, go”

Athos nodded and left and Porthos followed him but Anne grabbed her friend’s arm before he could even have had a chance to leave her house “Promise me you’ll keep him safe” she said with a tone that sounded more threatening than what she meant.   
“As always Anne”  
“Good, I… I can not loose my husband”

He smiled at her “You two are so cute”  
“I’m not cute, Porthos” she replied almost offended   
“Oh yes you are! You and your husband” he whispered emphasizing the word husband  
“Oh God! You and my son are unbelievable! He IS my husband, we ARE married, even if you two weren’t there”  
But Porthos couldn’t stop himself from continuing “I think you should you do that again, marriage I mean, an other ceremony”  
“You really are unbelievable! Go now and remember your promise”  
“I will”


	22. Making her happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porthos is the best, Athos is a mess

Porthos noticed immediately that his friend’s attention and thoughts were else where but he decided to leave him alone for a while. Only a few hours later, while they were both riding, Porthos decided it was about time to speak to his friend.   
“She told you” he simply stated   
“She did” Athos replied calmly but after a moment he looked at his friend surprised “…wait… you…you knew?” he said hesitantly   
Porthos nodded looking at him “She told me”  
“When?”  
“When you sent me to check on her”

Athos remained silently a for some minutes, he didn’t see it coming.   
Of course he knew that Anne trusted Porthos more that she trusted him but at the same time the idea of his wife confiding in his friend and not in him made him feel sick, sad, useless.   
He knew it was all his fault and yet the mistrust Anne had in him hurt him deeply.

Porthos saw this, but at the same time he knew he couldn’t help him. 

“Athos…” he started hesitantly “It was your right to know it, I know that, but Anne…” he said trying to justify himself.   
But Athos interrupted him abruptly “I’m not angry. You were respecting her wishes, you…”  
“I was” Porthos replied seriously   
After some seconds of silence Athos spoke again “You did the right thing”  
His friend nodded in return “I know, but I’m sorry if this hurts you”  
And Athos knew he meant that, and yet it didn't hurt any less “Thank you”

Porthos looked at his friend and understood that there was more and that he needed to externalize it, that’s probably why Anne had sent him away, hoping that he would have dealt with everything that bothered him.

Porthos decided to go strictly to the point “Athos, would you mind to tell me what’s really bothering you?”  
Athos stayed silent for some seconds and then he answered with a trembling voice “I can’t lose her again”  
The other man smiled trying to reassure him “Well that’s good because she can’t loose you too”  
But Athos’s tone was still scared and worried “I’m not the one who’s risking his life”  
“What do you mean?” Porthos asked confused   
“I mean…Sylvie. I can’t stop thinking about her”

Porthos stopped for one second, looking at his friend in shock “Are you out of your mind? Don’t say this to Anne, never say this to Anne. Do you hear me?” he exclaimed angrily   
Athos realized too late how those words had sounded “No, no no! Not like that Porthos! I love Anne, I’ve always loved Anne!” he cried   
Porthos still looked at him full of rage and diffidence, waiting for more explanations, so he went on “It’s just that… I keep thinking about her and her… death and…I can’t loose Anne like that. I can’t loose her. If she dies in childbirth…then it will be all my fault. If she dies in childbirth I will feel as if I…I’ve condemned her again, as if I’ve pulled a trigger or chocked her or…”

Porthos understood it and he felt immediately sorry for him “Oh no, Athos don’t talk like this”  
“I can’t help” he whispered with a trembling voice.  
Porthos nodded in his direction and then eventually spoke trying to reassure him once again “Anne is not Sylvie. She won’t die”  
“How do you know that?” Athos said desperate  
His friend breathed heavily before continuing “Because she is…She is Milady de Winter, come on. She survived worse that pregnancy and childbirth and she had already given birth once, quite successfully. And then… remember that she is in the good grace of the Queen, she surely will order the royal midwife to assist Anne and in any case I could help too, I’m quite good at that, you should remember that I helped my wife when she delivered Marie Cezette”   
Athos laughed nervously for the first time that day “Thank you mate but I would trust a qualified midwife more”  
Porthos laughed too “That was weird, wasn’t it?”  
Athos smiled, realizing once again how lucky he was to have such a good friend “It was, but thank you”

After some seconds Porthos looked at Athos once again “I was serious before”  
“What…?” Athos asked confused   
“Don’t talk to Anne about Sylvie. Never” Porthos said slowly   
“I don’t mean to…” but Athos couldn’t finish   
“No, listen. You broke her heart. You really broke her, you destroyed her, you…”  
“I know, I…”  
“No, you don’t. She was… devastated. She was there when you saved Sylvie, she heard you screaming “To Hell with the Law” and hearing those words that you never said for her…She felt pain and rage and…rejection… She thought she had really lost you for good and acknowledging that broke her heart. You broke her heart”  
“She…was there? Really..?”  
“She was…wait, you didn’t know?” he asked genuinely surprised   
“No” he answered simply. Anne was there, Anne was there and she had witnessed everything. His rage, his pain, his fierce defense of Sylvie, his affection for Sylvie and…  
Porthos continued “She was there, she witnessed everything. She was struggling and you didn’t even see her, Athos…”  
Athos closed his eyes “Oh my God…What have I done? I left. She stayed behind with a child, a job she didn’t want to do and…” Athos said getting anxious   
Porthos wanted to put and end to this circle of pain of grief, deep down he knew that both Anne and Athos deserved that “Don’t punish yourself too much, Athos. You’ve understood your mistakes now, you’re trying to make amend and to make her happy. Focus on that”  
“On making her happy?”  
“Yes”

 

In the meanwhile Anne noticed that her dresses were too tight and cursed her husband once again. Her body was already changing, her boobs were bigger and her hips were softened but the idea of being forced to wear larger garment made her mad. She loved corsets, she loved her dresses and she loved wearing them but she realized that she couldn’t anymore, a further thing to be angry at her husband. Still mad, she changed with more comfortable dresses and she relaxed on her couch, where she started reading a novel, what she didn’t notice was that her child was observing her the whole time. 

Raoul had noticed too many changes in his mother and he couldn’t keep his curiosity and his worries for himself anymore. 

“Mom?”  
“Yes sweetie” she said turning in his direction   
Her child had this serious look she had seen only a few times and Anne panicked immediately “What’s wrong, baby?”  
He came a step closer a made a simple statement “You’ve always liked corsets”  
Anne froze for some seconds “I still do”  
“But you don’t wear them anymore”  
“No, they are tight” she replied honestly   
He looked at her for some seconds and then finally he spoke again “Aunt Elodie stopped using corsets when she was pregnant with Jean Louis”

In that Anne realized that she needed to discuss this with her son, even if she had wished to have more time, even if she had wished to discuss it with her husband present. But maybe it was better this way, she thought, her son had grown up with her alone after all and he knew her very well, she couldn’t keep on lying to him about this. 

“You’re right baby, come here” she said encouraging him with her arms   
He came and she put him on her knees, Anne breathed heavily for some seconds and then she finally spoke again “You need to be strong and good as you always have been because your father and I are having another baby”  
“A baby?” he repeated shocked   
“Yes darling, a baby is in mommy’s tummy now” she said pulling one hand on her stomach   
Raoul nodded more relaxed “How long does it take? When will you have the baby?” he asked cautiously   
Anne smile trying to reassure him “In 6 months more or less”  
“It’s so soon Mom” he whispered avoiding her eyes  
“I know…”  
“And unexpected” Raoul continued   
“I know that too…” she said pulling him closer and kissing his head  
“Is it a boy? Or a girl?” he asked curious   
Anne laughed softly “I have no idea yet”  
After some seconds of silence Raoul spoke again looking at his mother in the eyes “I hope it’s a girl”  
“You do?” Anne asked surprised   
Raoul smiled proud “I do. I’ll protect her with my life, I will be her knight, no-one will ever hurt her”  
Anne felt so overwhelmed in that moment, her son was a wonderful boy and she was so relief he had become like that “You’ll be an outstanding big brother” she said honestly   
“I’ll try” he said with his serious look

After some seconds of silence Raoul spoke again, his voice was trembling and he looked so scared “Is that why Dad left? Because you are with a child?”  
Anne lost a beat “Oh no, no, no he hasn’t left for good, he’s just on a mission. He will be back soon”  
“Are you sure?” her child asked doubtful and skeptical   
“Yes” Anne said secure   
“He won’t abandon us” Raoul stated  
Anne nodded trying to reassure him “He won’t but if he were so stupid to do so, remember that we have each other and that’s everything that matters” Anne whispered hugging him  
“You and me and the new baby” Raoul said serious   
“Yes” Anne replied smiling “Yes. We are a team, we’ll always be a team”

After some seconds Raoul whispered something unexpected to her “Will you love me the same, Mom?”  
“What do you mean?” Anne asked genuinely confused   
“Will you love me as much as now or… maybe you’ll love the new baby more and…”  
“No, no no. Why would think this?” she asked worried  
“Because now… now you’re not alone, now… now you have Dad, now you are happy, now you want this…I…” he said hesitantly   
Anne started shaking her head “No, no baby, it’s not like this. I wanted you too, you are the joy of my life”  
“Really?” Raoul asked insecure  
“Really” Anne replied smiling 

 

The day after Anne was looking at her son’s training when strong arms wrapped around her waist.   
She recognized immediately that touch “Athos” and as she whispered his name he kissed her neck.  
“Anne” he replied hugging her pulling his arms around her breast.   
“He is beautiful, isn’t he?” Athos whispered looking at their son  
“He’s perfect” Anne replied with a huge smile   
After a second Athos spoke again, whispering some soft words in her ear “I hope the next one will be a girl, a girl with her mother’s hair and intelligence”  
Anne smiled inevitably hearing those words “Your son wish that too”  
So Raoul, too, knew he thought, then Athos smiled “And what do you want?”   
Anne smirked and turned in his direction “I wanna punch you in the face for doing this to me, again”   
“How romantic of you” he said touching her nose with his   
“Look at me, I’m always tired, I’m already getting fat and my knees hurt and..”  
“You are beautiful Anne” he whispered kissing her cheek   
Anne relaxed for some seconds “Of course I am” she said calmly and after some seconds she went on “But don’t you think you’ll get away with this”  
“Get away with this?” he replied amused   
“Yes. I’ll make you pay for this too, you and your stupid…”  
But in that moment their son noticed Athos’s presence and screamed running towards them “Dad! You’re back! You’re really back” he hugged his son a little surprised for such an affection and then he spoke overwhelmed “I’m not going anywhere”


	23. Never

A couple of months later Anne was resting in her bed, with her husband cuddling her. 

“He never stops moving, his brother was far more disciplined”  
“She” Athos replied smiling and kissing her cheek.  
“She, he either way this one is a fury and is kicking so hard” Anne said taking her husband’s hand and pulling it on her belly “See?”  
Athos laughed slightly “Oh, you’re right. My little one is so strong”  
Anne smirked in return “Your little one is too agitated. I think this is your fault, you always talk to the baby and he or she gets too excited”  
Athos laughed again “I see, so everything about this pregnancy is my fault”  
“It is! You super fertile man!” Anne exclaimed.  
He hugged her then and she let him, smiling. After some seconds she noticed something “Are you staring at my bobs, darling?”  
“I am” he replied embarrassed “Your boobs are so… big, I should thank the little one for this”  
“I married an idiot” she replied hitting at him   
“Why? I was just admiring your body sweetheart” he said caressing her breast “And you’re beautiful” he whispered leaving small kisses on her.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. Feeling him on her was always an incredible emotion, he still had the power to make her tremble, the power to make her feel dizzy, the power to make her feel confused. And she liked that, she loved that and she loved him.

“You know what, Athos? When I was pregnant with Raoul my boobs were even bigger”  
He looked at her shocked “No way! Are you serious?”  
“I am” she replied with a sexy smirk. 

After some seconds he changed expression and became serious “I’m so sorry, Anne”  
“I know, I’ve seen it” she said caressing his face. 

They stayed liked that, staring at each other for a while, but eventually Anne spoke again “There is something I need to tell you”  
“I’m listening” he replied a little worried by her severe tone.  
Anne hesitated for some seconds but eventually she found the courage to talk to him “I quit”  
“What?” he asked confused   
“I resigned. I’m not the Queen’s assassin, not anymore”  
“I know, of course not, not in your condition, that would be…”  
Anne stopped him “Yes and even after”  
Athos looked at her shocked, not sure to have fully understood what she was implying “Are you saying…?” he asked hesitantly.   
“I’m saying I’m done with that life. For good” she said with a soft smile. Anne was so overwhelmed, she was feeling hope again, she knew she had another chance to be who she wanted to be and yet Athos was looking at her speechless “Are you sure…? Because if this is for the children I…”   
“No. This is about me, years ago I told you I didn’t want to be the Cardinal’s creature anymore. Well…I don’t want to be the Queen’s creature either, I want to be…I don’t know yet but I’ll find my way somehow. What I know instead is that I can’t be a killer anymore, I can still help with espionage and decoding if necessary but…Not killing, not anymore, I can’t bear that” she confessed honestly.  
Athos stared at her in silence without replying “Are you ok with this, Athos?” she asked worried.  
He nodded “Of course, whatever you want, whatever you need”   
Anne smiled relieved hearing those words, then she pulled him closer “Come here, come here”   
Their lips melted and Anne smiled feeling his pressure on her, the way there were kissing was extremely gentle and sweet and slow and she liked that. This is now, she thought. They weren't in danger, there was no pressure, no one was dying. That was just about them, about their lives. Together. That wasn’t just a fleeting moment, that was forever and that was what they wanted, what they have always wanted. When they finally separated they were both breathless and yet at the same time, incredibly and indefinitely happy. They were happy. Finally happy, finally together, finally a whole again.

Athos was the first one to speak again “You could work with us”  
Anne looked at him with a skeptical expression “With you? Meaning… the Musketeers?”  
“Yes”  
Anne just kept staring at him without saying a single word and so Athos decided to use his puppy face “What? Com’on, you like us” and Anne smirked in return “I like Porthos and I can stand you, from time to time”  
“Oh, that’s a relief, thank you so much my darling wife” he whispered coming closer and stealing another kiss and Anne laughed softly in return “Fine. I’ll think about it”

Athos nodded and they looked each other in the eyes for some more seconds, Anne couldn’t believe that everything was going good, everything was settling down. She was happy now, at last.

Three months later Athos tried to convinced Anne to enter in confinement, but his wife had no intention of listening to him. 

“You know this is stupid husband, don’t you?”  
“No, this is not stupid wife. Not at all, it’s tradition” he replied in a severe tone.  
Anne couldn’t help but smiling “Oh I see, my Comte is still in there” she said pulling his face closer to hers and Athos looked at her with a fierce expression.  
“Milord” she said mocking him   
“Milady” he replied bowing slightly   
After some seconds Anne laughed, while Athos remained serious. 

He waited a moment and then he started talking again, with his sweetest tone this time “Go the confinement, you will be well looked after, feed, quite and..”  
But Anne had no intention of listening to him “I don’t care about those things Athos” she exclaimed serious.

He breathed heavily before continuing “I know what you think about confinement, but…”  
But Anne, this time too, stopped him “You do?”  
Athos smiled again and took her hands in his kissing them “You think is a questionable thing. You were born poor, you’ve seen women forced to give birth after a day of hard work, in the most awful places and situations and you don’t think that such a…benefit is truly necessary. You think…you think you can do this at home, without any particular help, with the midwife only but, please…think about it carefully, it’s for your sake and the sake of our child and…”  
“Don’t do this…” she said with a trembling voice.  
“Anne…”  
She shook her head energetically “I made my decision and it’s final. I’m staying home and you’re staying here too and you’ll see how much I’ll suffer because of you”  
He caressed her face sweetly “Anne don’t joke about this, I don’t know if I can be of any help, I…”  
She stopped his hands and kissed them “I said no. I’ve been in confinement before. I felt so… alone, really, deeply alone. I don’t want to do that again”  
Athos looked at her. Anne was so secure, fierce, irremovable and he had no idea how to convince her but he had to try one last time “I don’t want to think that the Duke was capable of taking care of you, while I…”  
She smiled again “You can take care of me, darling, you can and you will. Stay with me when I’ll be in labour and be patient and loving, that will be enough”  
“Are you sure?” he replied hesitantly   
“Yes” she said before kissing him “Yes” and kissing him again “Yes” and kissing him one last time

Finally Anne came closer to his ears and with a sexy voice she whispered “I can’t wait to bed you again, husband, I’ve already I couple of ideas in mind, one of which involves honey and cream”  
He blushed slightly with Anne great surprise “Oh, you’re wicked Milady”  
She smirked and with even a sexier voice she continued “You have no idea. I have a reserve of creativity I haven't even begun to tap”  
In that moment he genuinely smiled at her before whispering “You are the best wife ever”  
Anne nodded “I know, I know, you are a lucky bastard”  
He kissed her forehead before going on talking “I am, I am the luckiest bastard in the world”  
“I would say in the universe” she argued.  
“In the universe” he agreed. 

Anne smiled but after a second she changed her expression with a smirk of pain. Athos got scared “Anne? What’s happening? Is the baby coming?” he asked holding her shoulder   
Anne shook her head “No, no. She’s just… agitated”  
Athos smiled softly at her “Oh so you gave up and now you acknowledge that the child will actually be a girl”  
Anne looked in his direction rolling her eyes "I don't care either way. I just want this baby out of my body and safely in my arms”  
“I want that too” he replied honestly to her and then he moved towards his wife’s tummy   
“Hello little one, I’m your father. Your mother and I love you already very much and we can’t wait to finally meet you, your brother too is really excited, we can’t wait to have you in our family, we will spoil you so much and love you so much, you have no idea”

Anne raised her head to meet her son’s gaze on them   
“Raoul” she simply said “Come here, let me hug you”  
“Mom” he said hesitantly.   
“Come here” she replied with her sweetest tone. He nodded in return and came closer, Athos looked at both of them, without realizing what was going on.  
“You love my sister” he whispered   
Anne nodded “We do, but we love you the same, we will always love you”  
Raoul came any closer “I love you too. Both of you and the baby”

One afternoon, three weeks later, Elodie visited Anne.

“So, how do you feel?” Porthos’s wife asked smiling at her friend  
"I'm bored, the baby likes my womb too much” Anne replied from her bed  
Elodie smiled sitting next to her “You need to be patient, eventually you’ll have your newborn”  
“My newborn…” Anne repeated “Speaking of which…where is your son?” Anne asked curious. She knew for sure that Marie Cezette was at the palace with her son but she wondered where Jean Louis might have been.  
Elodie unexpectedly started laughing hard “I might tell you, but you won’t believe it”  
Anne was intrigued at that point so she simply whispered “Test me”  
Elodie calmed down and eventually replied “Fine, JL is with his babysitter”  
But Anne kept staring at her without understanding what she was meaning, so Elodie cleared her throat before continuing “Your husband”  
Anne was speechless then “No way. Really?”  
Elodie smiled “I’m not joking, I’m pretty serious actually. Porthos insisted”  
Anne looked at her still shocked “What? What do you mean?”  
And her friend finally admitted everything “In the last few months from time to time, my husband has forced your husband to look after my son”  
The image of the two of them with a newborn make Anne laughed genuinely “Why is that?” she asked still surprised.  
Her friend smiled again, reassuring her “For you, obviously. So he will be ready when you’ll have your baby”  
Anne lost a beat in that moment “Wow, that’s…”  
“It is. They love you, both of them”  
Anne smiled grateful and nodded. It was true. She was loved, someone cared for her and than feeling was something that overwhelmed her, then suddenly she felt pain and screamed “Oh my God, oh my God”  
“Anne? Are you alright?” Elodie exclaimed alarmed   
Anne breathed in "My waters have just broken. It’s happening. It’s really happening… Send for the midwife and for Athos and…warn the Queen, Raoul is staying at the palace until the baby is born and…Elodie…”  
“Yes?”  
“If anything should happen to me…would you promise me to care for them? Don’t let Athos drown himself in alcoholism and self pity. Promise me Elodie, promise me” she begged in pain.  
That requested destabilized Elodie for some seconds “I…I promise but nothing will happen to you. Do you hear me? I won’t allow it!”  
“Nothing” She repeated and then did as her friend had asked and 30 minutes later Athos was holding her hand and a midwife and also a nurse were there. 

The birthing process turned out to be long lasting and difficult, Anne lost her senses a couple of times, which caused Athos pure panic and terror but eight hours later Anne had delivered the daughter everyone was expecting.   
“It’s a girl” the midwife exclaimed giving the baby to the nurse  
“A girl” Anne repeated weakly “You were right after all” she said smiling and turning in her husband’s direction, Athos was crying silently, overwhelmed from all those emotions.   
After some seconds she turned in the direction of the nurse and she made her request once again “Let me see her”  
The nurse smiled at her and replied calmly “She is in good health and strong, just let me clean her up and then you can have her”

In that moment Athos finally manage to react to the whole situation and kissed the top of her head “You’ve been great, love”  
Anne nodded and made her request a further time “I want to see her, let me see her”  
Athos nodded understanding “You’ll see her, soon” and then he looked at her carefully. Anne was pale and sweaty and for a moment he got scared “How is my wife? Is she alright?” he asked the midwife worried. The woman checked on his wife and then, eventually, she spoke again.   
“She’s fine, mon seigneur, don’t worry. Now let’s see your child now”  
That moment was too private, too personal, too intimate. Everyone left the room and the happy couple stayed finally alone.  
When Anne saw her daughter for the first time, she almost cried “She's perfect… She’s…beautiful” she said staring down at her baby in her arms.   
Athos smiled “Of course she is, the little one is the image of you”  
Anne laughed “She has my eyes but her nose is yours”

The two of them stared at each other for some seconds and then Athos leaned on her and they kissed but in that moment the baby started crying. 

Anne laughed softly “Sorry darling, I have to feed her”   
Athos nodded and separated from them, looking at how beautiful his wife and his newborn daughter were.

After a while Anne gave the baby to him “Put the little Elizabeth in her crib, I really need to rest now”  
“Elizabeth?” he replied surprised   
“Yes, Elizabeth like Elizabeth Tudor”  
“Do you think it is a good idea to call our daughter like an English Queen?”  
Anne suddenly became fierce “I think it’s a good idea to call our daughter like one of the most incredible woman who has ever lived, a fearless woman, a courageous woman, a woman who never let any man rule over her but that at the same time was capable of appreciating art and music and…”  
Athos laughed softly “I really have an English Duchess as a wife”  
Anne smiled in his direction “Yes, I’m that too…We can’t erase the past, Athos. That’s why we still love each other, that’s why we can’t give up on each other. That’s why we never let each other go”  
He nodded “Of course, you’re right, Anne. You’re always right” he said kissing her forehead “Now Sleep, my love”  
“And you?”  
“I’ll be here, right here, by your side. Today, tomorrow and every other day”  
“I haven’t lost you”  
“Never”

**Author's Note:**

> I hated how S3 ended so I decided to write a sequel, I hope you enjoy it!


End file.
